Andrew Talks #1 : "The Rapture"

Right then, I am here to discuss one of the failed things recently...

I am of course, talking about "The Rapture."

No. That's a Velociraptor. Idiots. 

Obviously, some people in America truly believed that Jesus was coming. That everyone left on the Earth was in for a lot of suffering and torment. Well, umm, awkward much?

We're all still here. Well, I am, which is what matters. I even gave it another couple of days, just in case they missed it by a few days. Purely because I know that all end of the world situations will involve zombies. Well, they have to. Or else.

Americans were going crazy on the night of the supposed "Rapture" spending children's college funds, selling houses and generally being as hypocritical as most religious nut-jobs I know. Do the Gospels tell us that it's impossible for a rich man to get into heaven? I think you'll find the answer is yes. And selling all your stuff and buying all your worldly goods, WHICH CAN'T GO WITH YOU, makes perfect sense.

So then, God obviously doesn't want us yet. Or maybe he's decided to be merciful and postpone our execution.

Or maybe we should stop worrying about what might kill us and what WILL kill us.


Climate change (which many Americans deny responsibility for), Meteoric Impact, Melting of Polar Ice caps causing mass flooding, Alien Invasion, Terrorists getting a "dirty bomb", Nuclear warfare,  Biological warfare, Regular warfare (world war 3), Zombie apocalypse, Flipping of the Magnetic field of the Earth, Destruction of the ozone layer, Sun going supernova, Sun imploding, Sun exploding, Rogue Black hole, The exapansion of the Universe stops, Second Big Bang, Evolution of other animals, Evolution of disease, Drought, Monsoons, Tsunami, Earthquake, Hurricane, Tornado, Nuclear Meltdown, Robot apocalypse, We're all actually in "The Matrix" or Horrifically mutated hamster/ostrich hybrids eating all the cheese in the world.


All of these I will worry about more than the rapture. Well, most of them. Well, some of them. It's about time we, as the human race, took responsibility for cocking up our planet and stopped looking for any reason to stop worrying about it. "oh, the world will end in 2012 anyway..." They've said things like that before. And look where we are now.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

The Traditional Relationship Post.

((I don't really know how I can fit this in but if you want to see Alannah's blog about this, it's here.))


Well, as is traditional on this blog, when my relationship goes in the shitter, I have to do something here...
Right...
Where to begin...

Well, let's be honest about some stuff.

1. Changes.


Both of us changed each other. Mostly for the better I think. I corrupted you with my nerdy ways and you corrupted me with fashion...
There were a few things I tried to change about you though. Your ability to smile at someone and then go and bitch about them behind their back for one thing. I never liked that. I always wanted that to change.

2. My Friends.


There are a few places that will soon be off-limits to any partner in the future and this is one of them. I will never again let someone influence who I talk to. Who I go out with. Who I go to see. And who I'm friends with. I didn't like that you pushed me away from people (however unwittingly) and I don't like that I let you. This won't happen again. Ever.

3. Spoiling.


There's no other way to put it. You spoiled me. You bought me presents, coffee's, meals, random crap and assorted goodies. As much as I appreciated this, there is only so much a guy can take. This is when the dreaded "gender roles" monster rears it's ugly head. I am a guy. I am meant to provide. I'm not sexist, I never discriminate against sex, religion, sexual preference or race but none of that can help the feeling that I'm not providing as much as you were.
Also, my nature finds it hard to accept things I consider "charity." I appreciate things because I have done them/earned them/paid for them. I appreciate the occasional gift but when every time we go out, you insist on paying, it did feel like I was on the sidelines, not contributing at all.

4. Optimism.


Never again will I look so far forward. I fell into the same trap I usually do. I don't take it one day at a time. I was optimistic about something. Life has shown me consistently, and without fail, that when I look forward to something it balls up. It's good ol' pessimistic Andrew from now on, you hear. Good things are meant for good people. And obviously, I'm not good enough.


To end, I'd like to say thanks for all the support you've all given me. Thank you to Alannah for giving me a very nice time. I'm sorry it's over, but it is.

I've started a dailybooth (if any of you actually care, feel free to check it out) and a VYou account. You can ask me questions there and I'll respond (in video and sound) as soon as I can. Link is here. (Or click on the VYou tab on the left of this page)

Thanks all.
Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.