I am of course, talking about "The Rapture."
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| No. That's a Velociraptor. Idiots. |
Obviously, some people in America truly believed that Jesus was coming. That everyone left on the Earth was in for a lot of suffering and torment. Well, umm, awkward much?
We're all still here. Well, I am, which is what matters. I even gave it another couple of days, just in case they missed it by a few days. Purely because I know that all end of the world situations will involve zombies. Well, they have to. Or else.
Americans were going crazy on the night of the supposed "Rapture" spending children's college funds, selling houses and generally being as hypocritical as most religious nut-jobs I know. Do the Gospels tell us that it's impossible for a rich man to get into heaven? I think you'll find the answer is yes. And selling all your stuff and buying all your worldly goods, WHICH CAN'T GO WITH YOU, makes perfect sense.
Or maybe we should stop worrying about what might kill us and what WILL kill us.
Climate change (which many Americans deny responsibility for), Meteoric Impact, Melting of Polar Ice caps causing mass flooding, Alien Invasion, Terrorists getting a "dirty bomb", Nuclear warfare, Biological warfare, Regular warfare (world war 3), Zombie apocalypse, Flipping of the Magnetic field of the Earth, Destruction of the ozone layer, Sun going supernova, Sun imploding, Sun exploding, Rogue Black hole, The exapansion of the Universe stops, Second Big Bang, Evolution of other animals, Evolution of disease, Drought, Monsoons, Tsunami, Earthquake, Hurricane, Tornado, Nuclear Meltdown, Robot apocalypse, We're all actually in "The Matrix" or Horrifically mutated hamster/ostrich hybrids eating all the cheese in the world.
All of these I will worry about more than the rapture. Well, most of them. Well, some of them. It's about time we, as the human race, took responsibility for cocking up our planet and stopped looking for any reason to stop worrying about it. "oh, the world will end in 2012 anyway..." They've said things like that before. And look where we are now.
Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.
Americans were going crazy on the night of the supposed "Rapture" spending children's college funds, selling houses and generally being as hypocritical as most religious nut-jobs I know. Do the Gospels tell us that it's impossible for a rich man to get into heaven? I think you'll find the answer is yes. And selling all your stuff and buying all your worldly goods, WHICH CAN'T GO WITH YOU, makes perfect sense.
So then, God obviously doesn't want us yet. Or maybe he's decided to be merciful and postpone our execution.
Or maybe we should stop worrying about what might kill us and what WILL kill us.
Climate change (which many Americans deny responsibility for), Meteoric Impact, Melting of Polar Ice caps causing mass flooding, Alien Invasion, Terrorists getting a "dirty bomb", Nuclear warfare, Biological warfare, Regular warfare (world war 3), Zombie apocalypse, Flipping of the Magnetic field of the Earth, Destruction of the ozone layer, Sun going supernova, Sun imploding, Sun exploding, Rogue Black hole, The exapansion of the Universe stops, Second Big Bang, Evolution of other animals, Evolution of disease, Drought, Monsoons, Tsunami, Earthquake, Hurricane, Tornado, Nuclear Meltdown, Robot apocalypse, We're all actually in "The Matrix" or Horrifically mutated hamster/ostrich hybrids eating all the cheese in the world.
All of these I will worry about more than the rapture. Well, most of them. Well, some of them. It's about time we, as the human race, took responsibility for cocking up our planet and stopped looking for any reason to stop worrying about it. "oh, the world will end in 2012 anyway..." They've said things like that before. And look where we are now.
Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.
To be honest, if the world is going to be incinerated by the Sun imploding/expanding etc, it isn't going to happen in our lifetime, so the experts say. Who really trusts these experts anyway? On one hand, I'd like our deaths to be swift and as painless as possible but that seems highly unlikely. It would be nice for the Earth to die in some huge explosion so the rest of the universe would take notice and remember it.
ReplyDeleteIf we're all going to die, I humbly request zombies. Then all my planning will mean something and I might achieve something with the rest of my life.
ReplyDelete