New Year - New Me.

Evening all. Or if it isn't evening when you decide to read this, then you should wait until evening to read it. Simple.

For those of you expecting a "Traditional Post" relating to my recent relationship stuff, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed. I'm not doing it. I'm not going to do things because people expect me to or because it's tradition. More on that in this post.

I'm going to do what is right for me.

I have noticed recently that I am always so busy making sure other people are happy, that I neglect my own happiness as a result. No one will know who, or what I am talking about, but trust me on this. It's not something I want to get into more details on at the moment.

Sometimes, it feels like people can just walk all over me. Why? Because I've let them. Because in the past I have allowed people to believe I won't stand up for myself and not fight back.

I am tired of being the last thing people think about. I am sick of being the afterthought. "Oh, Andrew won't mind, he'll just go along with it." I am fed up of being the background noise to life's soundtrack. No. No more. No more "going along with it." No more putting every single person before myself. No more lying down and letting people walk over me. No more weakness.

This is why I am putting my New Year Resolutions here. So you can all see them. So you will all understand when I do something you never thought I'd do. So you'll all understand when I stand up for myself.

1. Be slightly more selfish. Think of yourself for once.
2. Work harder at Uni.
3. Stand up for yourself. At Uni, at work, at home.
4. Stop letting people kick you while you're down.
5. Stand out from the crowd.
6. Lose some weight.
7. Play guitar more. Much more.
8. Play Uke more. Much more.

I'm sorry to you all for making this all very personal. Lots of "you"'s and "yourself"'s but I need to do this. I need to be able to read this post and see that I have to work harder. I have to be better. And I damn well will.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

Public Transport: An Andrew Guide.

Right all, as I spend on average 3.5 hours a day on public transport (and no-one interesting comes to my work anymore) I've decided to publish a guide (along with my observations) about how to get the most out of Public Transport (which isn't much) Also, I mention the best things I've seen in the last 5 months of travel. Or worst. I guess you should decide.

That explains it.

Rule 1 of Public Transport is that no-one talks about public transport. Or talk while on Public Transport. (It's one of those, I get mixed up.)

The reasons for this are to avoid certain situations, the most obvious of these I shall link to here. Other reasons include:
1. The fact that people feel the need to discuss drug dealing on buses. While pushing a pram. While a police officer is talking to the bus driver.
2. Talking about that guy you did stuff to last night. I'll try and type what she said. "Aiiiiiieee, ah put his cock in mah moooth but deed heee thank meh? Ah dae hink soo."
3. Swearing. Usually just a minor breach. Not when there is a child in front of you. Or on your lap. (See video again)
4. Talking about that girl who did stuff to you last night. I'll try and type what he said. "Ayyye, she shuckked mah bawws last night. Was abslute qwalitee mahn"
5. Talking about "young people these days." Yes, I know that most of us aren't exactly shining examples of humanity, but we aren't all trackie wearing, buckie drinking teenagers that wouldn't know the meaning of abstinence if it was tattooed on their boyfriends stomach/girlfriends tits (Delete as appropriate)
6. Arguments in general. If you start an argument on a bus, you lose that argument. Case closed.
7. If you talk like I typed earlier, you should be supplied with a gag as you get on the bus. More extreme offenders should be attacked with staples.

Rule 2:
If a window is open beside someone, ASK BEFORE YOU SHUT IT. The last thing I need on an hour journey with a fine range of Scotland's public is to be trapped with the smell of the combined genital sweat of 5 years of busy bus schedules. If a window is shut beside someone, ASK BEFORE YOU OPEN IT. The last thing we need in December is some idiot in a t-shirt complaining of the heat. You want cold air Mr T-shirt, get off the bus and walk.

Rule 3:
If you have a small child with you and it is perfectly happy sleeping, DO NOT WAKE IT UP. 9 out of 10 times, the baby will screech with a fury that is usually reserved for those going to hell for mass murder. If the baby is screeching before it gets on the bus, invest in a dummy.

Rule 4:
Children between the age of 2 and 5 are banned. This age group will cry, wail, sing, shout, screech, scream, run up and down the bus, bang on the windows, trip over bags and generally make a nuisance of themselves. And this is only 5 minutes into the trip.

Rule 5:
If a bus journey will take longer than 4 hours, noise is to be kept to a minimum. Some people might want to go to sleep. Or you could just get drunk and sing sectarian songs all the way from Glasgow to London. That's your choice.

Rule 6:
Avoid racism. 


Rule 7:
You should remember that we are all suffering the same indecency as each other. Buses have never been enjoyable. Ever. Buses will never be enjoyable as any bus that becomes "fun" becomes a coach. (And even some coaches have been known to suck the life out of people that get on them)

Rule 8:
Buy a car. Get a driving license. Learn to drive. (Not necessarily in that order)

Hopefully, this guide will help you all obtain happy(ish) travelling on any of Scotland's fine examples of public transport. That's if they actually arrive on time. Please note that all examples I have used (except the video) I have witnessed first hand. Yes, Fife really is that bad. I also apologise for the voice you had to use in your head to read my examples and the fact I had to type that out. I'm going to go Grammar Nazi on Facebook to make up for it.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

Some snazzy photos and a trip to London.

Hello all, I know it's been a while. A month or so, but who's been counting.
I suppose I should let you all know why I've not been posting. Well, if I'm honest, I haven't had any ideas. This post is just me wittering in circles about having no ideas. Eventually, I'll get off the no idea boat and say something interesting...
...
...
...
Pomegranate.
That's interesting. Right? RIGHT?

Ok, lets chat about events that have gone on in the month I've been incommunicado. Well, one sticks out.

I went to London. To see my first ever gig.

For some reason, those words just don't seem to exude the correct amount of feelings that going to my first ever, honest to god, gig, with support bands, big speakers and standing up for hours. That kind of gig.
I went to see Within Temptation. RIGHT, before the bombardment of "Who are they?" or "Emo band" Go and listen to them. Then you can complain to me. I recommend "Sinead", "Ice Queen" & "What have you done." What are you waiting for? Go do it.
Anyway, no matter what you all think of me for it, I enjoyed it. I got a chance to unwind. I got to jump up and down, shout out what few lyrics I do know and shake my fist at a stage. Yes, I don't know why people do that last one either, but it feels immensely gratifying.
London was great fun. It did drag on a bit once the feet started to swell up and exhaustion kicked in but I managed. And I believe I put a brave face on it. Apart from Friday morning, I apologise for my crankiness.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I had the time of my life and I am very glad I went. It's about time that I relaxed this year and I think that this was one of the best ways I could "let my hair down."

Also, here are some photos of my London Adventure.

A strange man touching my cock.

Enthusiasm 101

There's always one person...

Derp

I DON'T WANT BEETROOT STICKS

When in doubt, eat.

Peace out bubs.

Andrew out.