When words fail us.

Hi all.


Well, it's been a while. I say this a lot, but I do try and blog often, it's just the right words at the right time are such a hard thing to write/say. I've noticed this more and more recently. 
As my good friend Dumbledore said:

"Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it." 

Some people need to think about what these words actually mean. All too often I hear someone being called a Slut, an Idiot or Gay. All too often I hear people say hurtful things to people for no reason. All too often, the nice things are left unsaid.
Believe it or not, that's not why I decided to write this blog. It just came out. What I really want to ask you all is this. 


Have you ever wanted to say something to someone, but couldn't? The reason you couldn't doesn't matter. Yes or no?
I'm going to guess that the vast majority of you will say yes. "Yes, I have wanted to tell ------- something but I couldn't because -------."


Sometimes, finding the right words is hard. Sometimes, knowing what to say and when to say it is impossible. Sometimes, some words are left unsaid, the moment past and the reason for thinking of them forgotten.
Sometimes the reason is good enough. "They weren't ready to hear it." "They don't need to know." "The time wasn't right." "I didn't know what to say."
Sometimes the reason is not good enough. "I was too nervous." "I didn't want to hear the answer." 
Sometimes words aren't enough. Many a time I have tried to say something, my mouth opens and no intelligible sound comes out. That's happened way too often for me to be happy about it.


One day, I'll be able to say all the things I want to say to all the people I want to say things to. Or maybe not. Maybe they'll move away before I manage to find the right words. All that matters is that I intend to say them. One day.


Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

And A Happy Valentines To You Too.

At the risk of seeming like an annoyed singleton, I'm here to discuss matters of vital importance to everyone in the civilised world.

Look guys, IT'S ALMOST VALENTINES DAY!

 As a bitter and twisted member of this so called "society" we live in, I feel shunned and left out of all of the pink and hearty celebrations. I feel like someone who has nothing to contribute with on this holiday of joy and merriment.

I feel, well, not lonely. I feel apart from it all.

But Andrew, I hear you cry, you don't have to fork out all that money on a card! You don't have to pay for a gift! You're free!

Yes. I am free from all the spending of money. But I am also free from spending time with someone I like. I am free from the horrors of being physically and emotionally close to someone I care about. I am free from all of the horribly nice things that being in a good relationship can bring you. I am free and damn it, I'll be happy about it.

Being single on valentines day isn't good because of the not spending money on things. It isn't good because of the not needing to please anyone other than yourself thing. (Whatever things you do to please yourself is between you and your right hand. I don't need to know.)

Being single on valentines day isn't bad because of having to put up with a week of shops having garish hearts, heart shaped chocolates and flower stands the size of small houses. It isn't bad because of the amount of "Romantic Facebook Posts" people put on each others wall. (To clear this up, it is not romantic to post on someone's wall saying "Luff you bbz" or "Love you millions honey." Not at all. It's sickening.)

Being single on Valentines Day is bad because it reminds you of everything you are missing out on. It makes you think of that one person who you know you shouldn't be thinking of. It makes you crave human contact. It ma...

Hey, wait a minute. I'm reminded every day of the little things I miss out on from not being in a relationship. Every day I think of someone I know I shouldn't and have suspicions at my chances with her. Every day I step outside and long for a reason to put one foot in front of the other.

There you have it. Valentines day isn't bad compared to other days. It's just as bad as the rest.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

Thoughts from a Raith Rovers Pieman

Hello world. And anyone else out there. Welcome to my mind. And by my mind, I mean the part I'm willing to share with you all.

For anyone new here, some unknown force causes a vast majority of people to enjoy me talking about my job as a football pieman. Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, I am the Raith Rovers Pieman.

Well, I say "the". What I mean is I am one of many pieman/womanses who currently have the pleasure to serve anybody who wishes to tuck upon our humble fare. We only sell sophisticated food to those who truly appreciate it. The humble football fan. Here is an example of the finely worded requests for our truly magnificent services.

"Cun ah hay 3 steak pies, 2 cheese burgahs, a hot dog wi' onins onit an' a Diet Coke please"

Ah. Can you feel the class, the breeding of this fine gentleman? Well I couldn't. Not at all. I can never work out why some people feel that after ordering all that food, that a diet coke will help. Ladies, Gentlemen, it doesn't work like that.

Let's drop the act, I sell pies and fizzy drinks to people at a football game. The main reason people come down to football games is to week in, week out, watch their team trudge through another game and hopefully scrape a draw from the bottom of the barrel. When they come to see me, spirits have long gone past dampened and have hit drowned. It's a losing battle trying to engage most in any form of anything but the most basic conversation.

"How's the game sir?"

"Shite"

"..."

"Can I get a bovril with that too?"

See what I mean?

As much as you could stereotypicallise (If that isn't a word, it is now) all of the fans as grumps, some of them are actually quite nice. We have an old man who always tells me to leave the lid off his bovril. Every time. And every time, I take it over to him with the lid on and take it off in front of him. Just to show him how much effort I put into this job.

There is another man who always, without fail, buys two "well-fired" macaroni pies. There have only been two occasions when he did not purchase his usual two. 1- When he'd been out for his lunch before the game. And even though he didn't buy anything, he came up to me personally and apologised for not purchasing his usual. 2- The week after new year when he said "I've gone on a diet." I told him he'd be back for his second before half time. Guess what? He was. And he looked very embarrassed when I gave him the pie I'd held back for him.

Personally, this is what makes my job worth doing. It's not the fact I am paid to carry out a service, it's the fact that despite the dismal atmosphere that seeps into us all, there are still a few diamonds in the coal face. And that's something we should all see about life more often. Sometimes, when things seem at their worst, you'll find the best thing you could ever have hoped for.

Wow. I'm good.

Peace out bubs.

Andrew out.