On my honour...

Right. No idea how this post is going to go today. Just going to type everything that I'm thinking. This is quite obviously a bad idea, but you know what? I don't care.

Let's rock.

Needless Filler Post.

Hi all. Once again, I'm here to plump up the cushions for you and allow you all to sit down and have me talk at to you.

Take a seat. It'll only cost you a few teeth.

As some of you know, I'm off uni now. Free. To do what I want to do. (Kudos if you get the reference)

So, if I'm free, how come I'm more bored than I ever was at uni? How come I feel so much more isolated than I ever did in my cell at uni? How come Kirkcaldy is so much more boring than I remember it?

Well, I don't have the answers for these questions and I doubt I ever will. Hopefully, life will get a tiny bit more exciting soon and I can blog properly about something. So, once again, I ask you, please comment with a topic of discussion for my next blog. Make it as obscure/interesting/strange or fantastical as you can and I'll do my best.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

Andrew Talks #1 : "The Rapture"

Right then, I am here to discuss one of the failed things recently...

I am of course, talking about "The Rapture."

No. That's a Velociraptor. Idiots. 

Obviously, some people in America truly believed that Jesus was coming. That everyone left on the Earth was in for a lot of suffering and torment. Well, umm, awkward much?

We're all still here. Well, I am, which is what matters. I even gave it another couple of days, just in case they missed it by a few days. Purely because I know that all end of the world situations will involve zombies. Well, they have to. Or else.

Americans were going crazy on the night of the supposed "Rapture" spending children's college funds, selling houses and generally being as hypocritical as most religious nut-jobs I know. Do the Gospels tell us that it's impossible for a rich man to get into heaven? I think you'll find the answer is yes. And selling all your stuff and buying all your worldly goods, WHICH CAN'T GO WITH YOU, makes perfect sense.

So then, God obviously doesn't want us yet. Or maybe he's decided to be merciful and postpone our execution.

Or maybe we should stop worrying about what might kill us and what WILL kill us.


Climate change (which many Americans deny responsibility for), Meteoric Impact, Melting of Polar Ice caps causing mass flooding, Alien Invasion, Terrorists getting a "dirty bomb", Nuclear warfare,  Biological warfare, Regular warfare (world war 3), Zombie apocalypse, Flipping of the Magnetic field of the Earth, Destruction of the ozone layer, Sun going supernova, Sun imploding, Sun exploding, Rogue Black hole, The exapansion of the Universe stops, Second Big Bang, Evolution of other animals, Evolution of disease, Drought, Monsoons, Tsunami, Earthquake, Hurricane, Tornado, Nuclear Meltdown, Robot apocalypse, We're all actually in "The Matrix" or Horrifically mutated hamster/ostrich hybrids eating all the cheese in the world.


All of these I will worry about more than the rapture. Well, most of them. Well, some of them. It's about time we, as the human race, took responsibility for cocking up our planet and stopped looking for any reason to stop worrying about it. "oh, the world will end in 2012 anyway..." They've said things like that before. And look where we are now.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.