Planning ahead and the "Board of super evil"

As a minor celebrity, I always get asked "Andrew, what are your ambitions in life?" Well, in this post, I intend answering about my ambitions.

Taking over the world.


Now, many people have wanted to do this, but have lacked either the resources, the intelligence or the man power. Well, I will succeed where others have failed.

From an early age I have watched the evil villains plans being thwarted time and time again by bad acting and even worse 1 dimensional characters. I have watched as villains have been portrayed as idiots who do not post guards at ventilation tunnels, leave weak points in death stars and attempt to kill a pesky secret agent with slow moving machinery.

Well, no more! I will not bother with the clichéd woman that is "loyal" only to me. I will send in a transvestite male who has been especially chosen for the job. If he/she doesn't kill the agent, then the horror of having had sex with him/her will. I will not attempt to kill the secret agent with slow moving machinery, bowler hats and/or lasers. I will shoot him. In the head. Repeatedly if necessary. I will cover the "exhaust port" with continually firing lasers if possible to detonate any proton torpedoes at the entrance to the shaft. If this is not a viable option then i shall cover the exhaust port with the corpses of men that have failed me. Simple.

Ventilation shafts will be greased, spiked, heated to unbearable temperatures and lead directly away from my main control room/jail/power generator. Instead, they will go in a loop, bypassing all crucial rooms, and lead back outside. Or failing that, will be too small to crawl through. Big problem, simple solution.

How do I intend taking over the world? Simple. It's already happening. You just don't know it yet. Let's just say it involves hamsters, snow plows and enough salad vegetables to cover France...

Anyway, I have already promised land in "the new world" to people. But it is not too late to swear loyalty to me. Accept me as your master and I will allow you the rule of the country/area/region of your wish.

"Oh my Andrew, how can I sign up?" - Timmy the innocent school boy.

Simple Timmy, just leave a comment saying
 "I think I should control ______ because _________"
or
"I want to be --enter position of power here-- because________"
 and I will judge who deserves what.

At the moment we have.

Overlord Andrew the Merciless, the Slayer of countries, Consumer of souls and Beloved by all.
"The Overlords Love" Conqueror of China. Wife of the Overlord. Director of Space and Time.

"The Comical Violinist Mortimer Le Tete". Controller of England and the Irish Isle. Commander of the armies and Second in Command.
"1.5." Moon Base Commander and 1.5 in command.
"Lamia". Ruler of Australia, Orkney and the "smilie isles." Queen of the damned and Chief Enforcer of the Overlords will.
"Quella." Beloved of Antarctica and the Himalayan mountains. Assistant to the Chief Enforcer.
"Lady Rain". Enslaver of Mauritius. Commander of the Navy and Director of Research.

"The Red Death". Caesar of the Ex-Dominican Republic. Assassin of Marque and Head of "Motivation".
"Pebbles". The Re-educator of the US. Director of Epic Music and the Slayer of Beliebers.

"Mustard Trousers" Controller of the Alt and Delete.
"Condon" Ruler of the Nuclear Wasteland (Previously Canada.) Director of Mutant relations and Court jester.
"The Shrouded" Governor for life of Hong Kong, Taiwan, Vietnam and Russia. Director of global communications.

There are more positions to fill. So don't forget to comment. 

Peace out bubs.

Andrew out.