Nice guys finish last...

Yup, once again. How many times does this have to happen to me before I realise somethings up? Well, none. Cause I've had it. I try and I try to be liked. All I ever do is to make other people like me, or at least be able to cope with me. I'm nice. I treat people how I'd like to be treated. I respect people and their opinions, no matter how much I disagree with them. I volunteer at swimming, church, scouts, conservation, chess team, wargames team and with school parent council stuff. I listen to people, I let them use me as a vent or a shoulder to cry on. I try to be funny. I don't mock anyone other than myself. I help my parents with everything, I help my brother with his exams. I help my friends with school work, technology or their problems. I have tried to be optimistic. I have tried being the nice guy. I have tried being friends with girls instead of using them, as most of my gender does. And then, occasionally, a girl might say to me that she likes me more than a friend. That she wants to go out with me. Or something similar. But then, first time theres a problem. Usually within a week. Bam. Andrew is dumped. Again. Left alone. Again. It's then that I have to turn to my friends. Again. Fantastic. The "nice guy thing" helps once again.
I'm a nice guy apparently. How this happened I don't know. I just woke up one morning and decided, "I'm not going to be an asshole to everyone." And then what happens. Girls are always dreaming of meeting a nice guy... in 10/15/20 years. Right now, they're interested in "bad boys." Or as I like to call them, Assholes. They treat everyone like crap, never care how anyone else is feeling and do what they want. When they want. Because of who I am, I can't do that. I physically can't be forceful. Or treat everyone like crap. Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe by doing what I think the other person wants, I'm actually doing stuff that means I'm an asshole. Nice guys finish last. Yes we do. And it sucks.
Well, being dumped by text... again. And because there was a problem... again. And they don't feel the same way anymore... again. And they want to go back to being friends... again. And I probably will go back to being friends. Eventually. Give me time though.
When I told one of my friends a briefer version of this, I got this nugget of wisdom back. "You can't have a rainbow without the rain." Thats nice. I can make that about my life the past few months... What about when the rain clouds block out the sun and stop the rainbow? What happens when it stays like this for months? And then when you see a little break in the cloud would you not go for it? Put absolutely everything you have into getting to the light and hope that it stays open til you get there. And then, it closes. Back in the dark. All because a friend, one of your best friends, made you feel awkward.
Maybe I'm going at this wrong. Maybe I should stop being friends with girls. Maybe I should just talk to girls when an urge takes me. No. I won't. Why? Because I'm the nice guy. And it's not going to change any time soon. It might suck. It really does. But I'm not changing now. If wait til girls go off "bad boys" I have to do, then wait I shall.

Ok then, so as you can tell, I was in an apocalyptically bad mood this morning. That is how I felt about pretty much everything. I have hymns to learn for leavers mass. And this morning I was intending on just not bothering. This morning, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
Two things saved me. My friends (thanks, you know who you are) and football. Yes, I do understand that I just had a rant about "normal" guys and they all love football. Ok, cut me some slack, I am still a guy. I am tied, closer than any relationship, to Kilmarnock Football Club. I was there today. Me and my dad took the 2 hour drive there, to see if our club could stay up in the SPL. It was not guaranteed. If we lost, we'd have went down. And then I would have had a two hour drive back in silence. Well, we stayed up. Falkirk went down. Andrew has screamed himself hoarse and can't speak at all just now. And I feel a bit better. Shouting and screaming at grown men attempt to kick a leather sphere has vented my feelings in a way talking to people never could. Fuck psychologists, go to the football people.

Also in order to fix myself, I got in touch with my all time, worst break up girl friend ever. I wanted to know why and stuff. And now I feel better. I intend to do this with a few of my ex's so if you are one, I may be asking you questions at some time.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.