Wednesday, September 22

A small crisis of faith.

Right then, the exodus from Blogspot has begun. (Thats where I write this up by the way.) A long time ago, there was the key bloggers. The ones who got me into this blogging lark. Mustard has long since given up, which is a shame, and Olga, my hero in blogging, has moved to the dark side of Tumblr. Well, I'M STILL HERE BLOGSPOT!!!! I am faithful. Til the end my dear friend. However, I want to wish good luck to Olga in her new blog.

This does mean that I have almost complete control here now. So I have celebrated by redesigning the layout of my blog. Hopefully you'll find it easier to get around and will think it looks purty.

So, second rant then. Today, I suffered a small crisis. Just a small one. I had a moment when I felt that my life was pointless and that I should just give up. You know, the kind I have every second week. Well, for some reason, it felt worse today. I really did honestly consider assuming the foetal position. It was that bad. I think it may have had something to do with my "low-self-esteem" at the moment of the "Give-up-andrew-syndrome" struck. Why was I having the low self esteem issue? Well, I was doing what I've been doing the past two months. Writing out what I dislike about me and my life. And I could think of much more bad than I usually do. These include University, family, future and friends. Why are these bothering me? Mainly because I don't know where any of them are leading. Random chance is fun and all, but sometimes a bit of certainty is nice. Just to ensure you know what you're doing.

3- Extremism. Yes, yes. You all know what it is. It's Muslims taking their religion to extremes. WRONG! It's anyone taking anything to extremes. I'd class myself as a "mild Catholic." I agree with some parts and disagree with others. But some people take Catholicism to extremes too. And there are a fair majority of them supporting Celtic Football Club. They use the excuse of "IRELAND!" to do things which if they thought about, they'd shudder. Beating someone up because they are wearing the wrong colours? That's not a Football team. That's a gang. And that's wrong.
Every religion has extremists (though I would like to see an extremist Buddhist.) and I find it very hard to understand what is going through their minds. I was taught a firm sense of what was "right" and what was "wrong." I'm very ashamed of some of the stuff my religion has done. (The Inquisition, The crusades & the child sex scandal) It's these things which make you think, "Am I in this too deep?" Well, I've decided that I am a catholic, no matter what I do and that I will try to live my life the way I think is right. Not what some Millennia old rule suggests. A lot of the rules of my religion didn't come from God. They came from people. Like me. Well, a lot more strict and less tolerant version of me but I know that people can be wrong. Just look at the world. Global Warming - our fault. War - our fault. Religious wars - our fault. Poverty, disease, hunger, deforestation, extinction, eviction of Natives - all our fault. There are times when I'm not just ashamed to be a Catholic but I'm ashamed of being Human. None of us plan ahead. We're all selfish, grabbing what we can while we still can. Not much I can do about that, but I try to be generous when I can. If more people thought of others, we wouldn't have a perfect world, but we'd have a better one.

Hmm, that was a pretty deep rant. I think that's enough for now.

Any suggestions for my "Rant-day" video, please send them to me.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

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