Another year, another story.

Well, 2012 is almost away. Gone and lost forever. That's the thing about time, once we've had it, it's gone forever and nothing we can do can bring it back.
2012 has been an eventful year. I've survived 2 or 3 apocalypses, a get-back-together, a break up, 2 sets of exams (one of which straight after the break-up), a funeral, a diamond jubilee, a cup triumph against Celtic, an eventful Olympics and enough alcohol to float the titanic. It's been a busy year and I just don't know how 2013 is going to compare.

Truth be told, I'm scared to find out.

I don't want to know what heart-break, tragedy or pain I am going to go through in the next 12 months. I know that that's a pessimistic way of looking at it but what else am I meant to do? I can't live my life "taking it on the chin" "keeping my chin up" or even just being optimistic.
I am sick and tired of feeling nothing, of feeling empty, like I mean nothing. That I contribute nothing. That I barely exist. That I'm here and not where I should be.

I behave differently in different places. At uni, you might know the sarcastic, witty Andrew or the fun, happy Andrew. You might remember the quiet, introvert of 1st and 2nd year. In Kirkcaldy, depending on where you know me from, you'll either know the quiet, hard working pie man or the quiet, chess team captain/ depute head boy of high school. I have far too many faces, far too many different people that I am trying to be, some of which I hate, and yet, all of them are me.

And this scares me too.


My classmates from school are getting old. We're getting old. Some people are getting engaged, some are already married and some have children. Plural.

I'm growing up. And that terrifies me.

Do you see a trend here?

The future is a scary thing for all of us. Some more than others. I know a load of people that have far more problems than I do, I understand that some people have it better than I do, that's just life. There is always someone better and always someone worse.

Just writing all of this down makes me feel better, more confident and more alive. That's why I write these things.

I feel that when 2013 starts I can look at the world and spit in it's eye.
I'm Andrew. And I'm back.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

Moving out and Liking things.

Hi guys. I'm back.

Well, I've moved out to the big city. To find my fortune where the streets are paved with gold. To become a man. To do all those stereotypical things in films. You know the ones. And, I'm back in Kirkcaldy.

Yeah, kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it.

There is a reason for being back but it's fairly boring. I voted today and I have my work night out tomorrow. Yes, piemen have nights out.

So, onto the meat and potatoes part of this post. Something that has been eroding all of my niceness and acceptance of everything. Facebook.

Yes, we're back to hating on Facebook again. I've done it before and I'll probably do it another million times but I couldn't leave it. What else would I spend my time on. Something productive?

Now, some of you might think, Timeline. It's got to be timeline. Well, you're wrong. Very wrong. My problem with Facebook right now is you. Yes, you.

People suck. It's a well accepted fact. When gathered in groups of more than 3, people tend to be dicks. But I'm not even bothered by how much of an idiot some people can be. I'm going to answer most peoples problems on Facebook in the next few lines.
Yes dear, he doesn't like you. Move on, you're about 14 years old.
Put a shirt on you posing wannabe pop-star.
If your status is less than 3 words, don't post it.
Wow, typing song lyrics must show how much of a deep and caring person you think you are and not the shallow worthless husk that the rest of the world knows you are.

That last one was probably a bit harsh, but I like the word husk.

That's not even the real reason I want to rant at you all. The reason is "Like and we will donate..." and "Like this if..."

Right then. Let's shatter every single one of your illusions. If a company is donating one dollar/pound/yen/imperial credit/other for every "like" then you liking it has, at most, donated one unit of currency. Now, nice as that is, why don't you donate yourself? If you feel so strongly that a cause needs money to save this child that needs a heart transplant/remove minefields from war torn countries and/or to fund research into self sustaining penguin jet-packs then why don't you put a little bit of effort in and make sure that your cause benefits. There is no guarantee that the thing you have "liked" will get anything. Like it or not, people lie. And companies are even worse.

Next up, "Like this if..." No. Just no. If you're asking for a like you don't get one you attention seeking, pathetic, like-whore. If you do like them, you're just feeding their ego, nothing else. You aren't doing anything. You haven't gained anything apart from a warm sense of smugness that is absolutely insignificant and comparable to the warm feeling down your leg as you urinate on yourself. You haven't contributed to a cause, you haven't helped. All you have done, is press a button. (Two if you've shared it)
I find it inspiring that a soldier can come back from a war with burns covering his entire body and still walk down the aisle with his sister. Honestly, it makes me want to do something better with my life than sit and like things on Facebook.
I don't need to "Like for heaven" and ignoring doesn't mean I'm in love with Satan.
I'm not going to like if I agree, remember or have seen something. I know I like things, I don't need to tell everybody about it.
If you have "liked and shared" a photo, all you are doing is shouting at your friends "HEY, LOOK AT ME. I'M SUCH A GOOD PERSON. I'M SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU ALL."

If feeling that way really means that much to you, go and do something with your life.

I know the irony of posting this on Facebook but I'm doing it anyway.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

Dusting off an imagination.

Ok, the gaps between these posts are getting longer and longer. My bad guys, definitely my bad.

Right, what to say. Well, I could start with this... I want to write something.

You know, a story, a novel, a book. One or all of the above.

There is one slight teensy tiny problem. Starting it. With exams, work, moving to Edinburgh, trying to get the girl, save the world and then subsequently subjugate it to my will, there isn't much spare time for just sitting thinking of a story. With my imagination running circles in my head as usual, picking one idea out isn't easy either. So, you know, I'll plod on with tha...

Hold on. We'll go back to story time after. Go back a bit there. "rk, moving to Edinburgh, tr" Yeah, I may have forgotten to tell some of you. I'm moving to Edinburgh. Very soon. As in, before the end of this month. It's a good thing. It's not me, it's you. Or something like that. So long Kirkcaldy, as a wise Jedi once said, "I'll be back." Or was that from Star Trek? I get those all mixed up sometimes.

Anyway, back onto topic. After these exams are finished, I plan to sit down and just whack out my ideas into a coherent form. Hopefully, some of it might form words. If you want to find out about it once I have something, let me know. I need critics to keep me on the straight and narrow. And stuff like that. You know, so I don't end up writing something about sparkling vampires and a lust story between a vampire and something he would consider food. Like me and a steak. Actually, that could work. Teenage girls suck up that kind of stuff, don't they?

Write "Man falls in love with Steak" Book ---> Publish ----> ???? -----> Profit.

Simples.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

When words fail us.

Hi all.


Well, it's been a while. I say this a lot, but I do try and blog often, it's just the right words at the right time are such a hard thing to write/say. I've noticed this more and more recently. 
As my good friend Dumbledore said:

"Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it." 

Some people need to think about what these words actually mean. All too often I hear someone being called a Slut, an Idiot or Gay. All too often I hear people say hurtful things to people for no reason. All too often, the nice things are left unsaid.
Believe it or not, that's not why I decided to write this blog. It just came out. What I really want to ask you all is this. 


Have you ever wanted to say something to someone, but couldn't? The reason you couldn't doesn't matter. Yes or no?
I'm going to guess that the vast majority of you will say yes. "Yes, I have wanted to tell ------- something but I couldn't because -------."


Sometimes, finding the right words is hard. Sometimes, knowing what to say and when to say it is impossible. Sometimes, some words are left unsaid, the moment past and the reason for thinking of them forgotten.
Sometimes the reason is good enough. "They weren't ready to hear it." "They don't need to know." "The time wasn't right." "I didn't know what to say."
Sometimes the reason is not good enough. "I was too nervous." "I didn't want to hear the answer." 
Sometimes words aren't enough. Many a time I have tried to say something, my mouth opens and no intelligible sound comes out. That's happened way too often for me to be happy about it.


One day, I'll be able to say all the things I want to say to all the people I want to say things to. Or maybe not. Maybe they'll move away before I manage to find the right words. All that matters is that I intend to say them. One day.


Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

And A Happy Valentines To You Too.

At the risk of seeming like an annoyed singleton, I'm here to discuss matters of vital importance to everyone in the civilised world.

Look guys, IT'S ALMOST VALENTINES DAY!

 As a bitter and twisted member of this so called "society" we live in, I feel shunned and left out of all of the pink and hearty celebrations. I feel like someone who has nothing to contribute with on this holiday of joy and merriment.

I feel, well, not lonely. I feel apart from it all.

But Andrew, I hear you cry, you don't have to fork out all that money on a card! You don't have to pay for a gift! You're free!

Yes. I am free from all the spending of money. But I am also free from spending time with someone I like. I am free from the horrors of being physically and emotionally close to someone I care about. I am free from all of the horribly nice things that being in a good relationship can bring you. I am free and damn it, I'll be happy about it.

Being single on valentines day isn't good because of the not spending money on things. It isn't good because of the not needing to please anyone other than yourself thing. (Whatever things you do to please yourself is between you and your right hand. I don't need to know.)

Being single on valentines day isn't bad because of having to put up with a week of shops having garish hearts, heart shaped chocolates and flower stands the size of small houses. It isn't bad because of the amount of "Romantic Facebook Posts" people put on each others wall. (To clear this up, it is not romantic to post on someone's wall saying "Luff you bbz" or "Love you millions honey." Not at all. It's sickening.)

Being single on Valentines Day is bad because it reminds you of everything you are missing out on. It makes you think of that one person who you know you shouldn't be thinking of. It makes you crave human contact. It ma...

Hey, wait a minute. I'm reminded every day of the little things I miss out on from not being in a relationship. Every day I think of someone I know I shouldn't and have suspicions at my chances with her. Every day I step outside and long for a reason to put one foot in front of the other.

There you have it. Valentines day isn't bad compared to other days. It's just as bad as the rest.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

Thoughts from a Raith Rovers Pieman

Hello world. And anyone else out there. Welcome to my mind. And by my mind, I mean the part I'm willing to share with you all.

For anyone new here, some unknown force causes a vast majority of people to enjoy me talking about my job as a football pieman. Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, I am the Raith Rovers Pieman.

Well, I say "the". What I mean is I am one of many pieman/womanses who currently have the pleasure to serve anybody who wishes to tuck upon our humble fare. We only sell sophisticated food to those who truly appreciate it. The humble football fan. Here is an example of the finely worded requests for our truly magnificent services.

"Cun ah hay 3 steak pies, 2 cheese burgahs, a hot dog wi' onins onit an' a Diet Coke please"

Ah. Can you feel the class, the breeding of this fine gentleman? Well I couldn't. Not at all. I can never work out why some people feel that after ordering all that food, that a diet coke will help. Ladies, Gentlemen, it doesn't work like that.

Let's drop the act, I sell pies and fizzy drinks to people at a football game. The main reason people come down to football games is to week in, week out, watch their team trudge through another game and hopefully scrape a draw from the bottom of the barrel. When they come to see me, spirits have long gone past dampened and have hit drowned. It's a losing battle trying to engage most in any form of anything but the most basic conversation.

"How's the game sir?"

"Shite"

"..."

"Can I get a bovril with that too?"

See what I mean?

As much as you could stereotypicallise (If that isn't a word, it is now) all of the fans as grumps, some of them are actually quite nice. We have an old man who always tells me to leave the lid off his bovril. Every time. And every time, I take it over to him with the lid on and take it off in front of him. Just to show him how much effort I put into this job.

There is another man who always, without fail, buys two "well-fired" macaroni pies. There have only been two occasions when he did not purchase his usual two. 1- When he'd been out for his lunch before the game. And even though he didn't buy anything, he came up to me personally and apologised for not purchasing his usual. 2- The week after new year when he said "I've gone on a diet." I told him he'd be back for his second before half time. Guess what? He was. And he looked very embarrassed when I gave him the pie I'd held back for him.

Personally, this is what makes my job worth doing. It's not the fact I am paid to carry out a service, it's the fact that despite the dismal atmosphere that seeps into us all, there are still a few diamonds in the coal face. And that's something we should all see about life more often. Sometimes, when things seem at their worst, you'll find the best thing you could ever have hoped for.

Wow. I'm good.

Peace out bubs.

Andrew out.

New Year - New Me.

Evening all. Or if it isn't evening when you decide to read this, then you should wait until evening to read it. Simple.

For those of you expecting a "Traditional Post" relating to my recent relationship stuff, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed. I'm not doing it. I'm not going to do things because people expect me to or because it's tradition. More on that in this post.

I'm going to do what is right for me.

I have noticed recently that I am always so busy making sure other people are happy, that I neglect my own happiness as a result. No one will know who, or what I am talking about, but trust me on this. It's not something I want to get into more details on at the moment.

Sometimes, it feels like people can just walk all over me. Why? Because I've let them. Because in the past I have allowed people to believe I won't stand up for myself and not fight back.

I am tired of being the last thing people think about. I am sick of being the afterthought. "Oh, Andrew won't mind, he'll just go along with it." I am fed up of being the background noise to life's soundtrack. No. No more. No more "going along with it." No more putting every single person before myself. No more lying down and letting people walk over me. No more weakness.

This is why I am putting my New Year Resolutions here. So you can all see them. So you will all understand when I do something you never thought I'd do. So you'll all understand when I stand up for myself.

1. Be slightly more selfish. Think of yourself for once.
2. Work harder at Uni.
3. Stand up for yourself. At Uni, at work, at home.
4. Stop letting people kick you while you're down.
5. Stand out from the crowd.
6. Lose some weight.
7. Play guitar more. Much more.
8. Play Uke more. Much more.

I'm sorry to you all for making this all very personal. Lots of "you"'s and "yourself"'s but I need to do this. I need to be able to read this post and see that I have to work harder. I have to be better. And I damn well will.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

Public Transport: An Andrew Guide.

Right all, as I spend on average 3.5 hours a day on public transport (and no-one interesting comes to my work anymore) I've decided to publish a guide (along with my observations) about how to get the most out of Public Transport (which isn't much) Also, I mention the best things I've seen in the last 5 months of travel. Or worst. I guess you should decide.

That explains it.

Rule 1 of Public Transport is that no-one talks about public transport. Or talk while on Public Transport. (It's one of those, I get mixed up.)

The reasons for this are to avoid certain situations, the most obvious of these I shall link to here. Other reasons include:
1. The fact that people feel the need to discuss drug dealing on buses. While pushing a pram. While a police officer is talking to the bus driver.
2. Talking about that guy you did stuff to last night. I'll try and type what she said. "Aiiiiiieee, ah put his cock in mah moooth but deed heee thank meh? Ah dae hink soo."
3. Swearing. Usually just a minor breach. Not when there is a child in front of you. Or on your lap. (See video again)
4. Talking about that girl who did stuff to you last night. I'll try and type what he said. "Ayyye, she shuckked mah bawws last night. Was abslute qwalitee mahn"
5. Talking about "young people these days." Yes, I know that most of us aren't exactly shining examples of humanity, but we aren't all trackie wearing, buckie drinking teenagers that wouldn't know the meaning of abstinence if it was tattooed on their boyfriends stomach/girlfriends tits (Delete as appropriate)
6. Arguments in general. If you start an argument on a bus, you lose that argument. Case closed.
7. If you talk like I typed earlier, you should be supplied with a gag as you get on the bus. More extreme offenders should be attacked with staples.

Rule 2:
If a window is open beside someone, ASK BEFORE YOU SHUT IT. The last thing I need on an hour journey with a fine range of Scotland's public is to be trapped with the smell of the combined genital sweat of 5 years of busy bus schedules. If a window is shut beside someone, ASK BEFORE YOU OPEN IT. The last thing we need in December is some idiot in a t-shirt complaining of the heat. You want cold air Mr T-shirt, get off the bus and walk.

Rule 3:
If you have a small child with you and it is perfectly happy sleeping, DO NOT WAKE IT UP. 9 out of 10 times, the baby will screech with a fury that is usually reserved for those going to hell for mass murder. If the baby is screeching before it gets on the bus, invest in a dummy.

Rule 4:
Children between the age of 2 and 5 are banned. This age group will cry, wail, sing, shout, screech, scream, run up and down the bus, bang on the windows, trip over bags and generally make a nuisance of themselves. And this is only 5 minutes into the trip.

Rule 5:
If a bus journey will take longer than 4 hours, noise is to be kept to a minimum. Some people might want to go to sleep. Or you could just get drunk and sing sectarian songs all the way from Glasgow to London. That's your choice.

Rule 6:
Avoid racism. 


Rule 7:
You should remember that we are all suffering the same indecency as each other. Buses have never been enjoyable. Ever. Buses will never be enjoyable as any bus that becomes "fun" becomes a coach. (And even some coaches have been known to suck the life out of people that get on them)

Rule 8:
Buy a car. Get a driving license. Learn to drive. (Not necessarily in that order)

Hopefully, this guide will help you all obtain happy(ish) travelling on any of Scotland's fine examples of public transport. That's if they actually arrive on time. Please note that all examples I have used (except the video) I have witnessed first hand. Yes, Fife really is that bad. I also apologise for the voice you had to use in your head to read my examples and the fact I had to type that out. I'm going to go Grammar Nazi on Facebook to make up for it.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

Some snazzy photos and a trip to London.

Hello all, I know it's been a while. A month or so, but who's been counting.
I suppose I should let you all know why I've not been posting. Well, if I'm honest, I haven't had any ideas. This post is just me wittering in circles about having no ideas. Eventually, I'll get off the no idea boat and say something interesting...
...
...
...
Pomegranate.
That's interesting. Right? RIGHT?

Ok, lets chat about events that have gone on in the month I've been incommunicado. Well, one sticks out.

I went to London. To see my first ever gig.

For some reason, those words just don't seem to exude the correct amount of feelings that going to my first ever, honest to god, gig, with support bands, big speakers and standing up for hours. That kind of gig.
I went to see Within Temptation. RIGHT, before the bombardment of "Who are they?" or "Emo band" Go and listen to them. Then you can complain to me. I recommend "Sinead", "Ice Queen" & "What have you done." What are you waiting for? Go do it.
Anyway, no matter what you all think of me for it, I enjoyed it. I got a chance to unwind. I got to jump up and down, shout out what few lyrics I do know and shake my fist at a stage. Yes, I don't know why people do that last one either, but it feels immensely gratifying.
London was great fun. It did drag on a bit once the feet started to swell up and exhaustion kicked in but I managed. And I believe I put a brave face on it. Apart from Friday morning, I apologise for my crankiness.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I had the time of my life and I am very glad I went. It's about time that I relaxed this year and I think that this was one of the best ways I could "let my hair down."

Also, here are some photos of my London Adventure.

A strange man touching my cock.

Enthusiasm 101

There's always one person...

Derp

I DON'T WANT BEETROOT STICKS

When in doubt, eat.

Peace out bubs.

Andrew out.

Andrew Talks #2 : Welcome to the world of tomorrow!

Right then, while I was working away earlier today, Zoe decided to tell me about something she was doing for Philosophy.

What if civilisation ended tomorrow?
(Well, she said something much more complicated and with lots of unnecessary words so I simplified it.)

(This is how I would imagine this world to be. Feel free to do your own posts/comments about it and send me a link to it. I want to know what you all think of this.)

Part one (For those with no imagination)

Right, all governments have fallen, religion is dead and there are no rules. Imagine a world after an atomic war or a meteor impact and you're about the right image.

Like this, but with no snazzy jumpsuit. Or gun. 

Society has crumbled around you and, lo and behold, you are alive. Against the odds, you have survived the end of civilisation.

The question is, now what?

Part 2: Here's what.

As the world has no rules you can do whatever you want. For most, this amount of choice will drive most people insane. We have been brought up for centuries on law and order. On the fact that we cannot do certain things because we will be punished. There is no punishment now. Remember that bully from high school? You could beat his brains in with a stick in this world and no one would bat an eyelash.

Weapon of choice.

For people who have always suppressed their desires due to societies views, ultimately, there will be a lot of people with caved in heads.

Other people may try and hold on to their ideas of civilisation. Some people will try to form new countries, new nations but most will fail. Some will succeed but they won't be anything like democratic. People will flock around charismatic/powerful or strong leaders who can offer protection to their people. More than likely, there will be many people who have ambitions of forming "The Kingdom of Geoff" (or similar) and will jump at the opportunity to have people following them and their ideals. Religion may reboot at this point, with the head of a tribe being divine and/or "chosen by the gods" to reinforce the idea that they are in charge. 
The problem with this is the fact that people are mortal. The leaders of these tribes and gangs will die, leaving a power vacuum. The tribe will either drift apart or will kill each other to become the new king.

Currency will become meaningless so a return to a barter system is inevitable. Some things will retain their value (Gold, jewellery, etc.) Some things will become much more valuable (Technology, weapons, food.) And some things will become fairly worthless. (Xbox, PS3, iPods) Another thought is of the role of a woman in this society. Would the woman become just a thing for making more children? Or would the women be dominant? That's not a question I'm willing to answer. Too much arguing between you all.

Slavery will likely start again. Those unfortunate enough to have no tribe (or have a tribe that is conquered by another) will become a lower class forced by lash, whip or gun to do the bidding of their masters.

Here's the main reason I think civilisation collapsing would mean the end of humanity.

Guns > Democracy. 

Let's say civilisation collapses and I meet you and some others in the crumbling ruin of a city. I have a gun and I tell you that you are now my property. Of course, some will fight back, but, as I have a gun, they will be killed. There is always a choice and in this case, the choice is clear. Be a slave. Or die.

In the end, I think there are three options as to what could happen:

1) The human race adapts as we have done since we learned to walk on two feet. We create a new world which has learned from the mistakes of the past. (Not likely)
2) The human race makes the same mistakes we have before, as we always do. The world created is a mockery of the world we live in now and most likely will not be a nice place to live.
3) The flickering flame of the human race is extinguished entirely. Disease and hunger kill many but ultimately we destroy ourselves in an orgy of violence, destruction and war.

I look forward to hearing your ideas on the subject and on welcoming you to the "Kingdom of Andrew."

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

University challenge & Fighting against stats.

Hi all. Let's talk. Let's talk about a subject that is very close to my heart.

Me. (In hindsight, I'm close to all of my organs. Except my kidneys. I hate my kidneys.)

This is week 3 of 2nd year for me. Having survived a brief avalanche of work and enduring at least one 5.45 am wake up a week, I'd say I'm coping.

Coping. Not excelling, not struggling, coping.

I've never claimed to be naturally talented at Chemistry, I've always just enjoyed it. Playing with chemicals, making things & bunsen burners. Those are the things I like. Those are the things I'm good at. Just look at my grades for last semesters lab work.

Semester 1 - A 

Semester 2 - A

I can do lab work. I am competent. (I'm not here to blow my own trumpet)

However, theory, theory is where I struggle.
After missing a key lecture on VSEPR last year, I struggle with that. No matter who I ask. No matter how many times I read through it in the text book (to date 24 times) No matter how many times that question comes up in the exam...
There are some things from first year that just didn't stick. Look at my grades for Chemistry Theory last year.

Semester 1 - D

Semester 2 - A (or B)

The reason I don't know whether I got an A or a B for semester 2 is because when I got the letter with the grades on it, my one concern was the bit that said "You are invited to return for a second year." I think that's understandable of me. I was expecting to resit something (Either Chembob or maths) and it was an extremely pleasant surprise when I got told I didn't need to.

The problem is, my semester 1 knowledge is flawed. I've been to remedial chemistry/consolidation chemistry/chemistry for idiots (whatever you want to call it) and I still don't get some things. Like organics. And VSEPR. Oh well, back to the books...

The thing is that I know that 55% of people that got "encouraged" to go to these Consolidation Chemistry workshops will fail. Statistically, I'm already only 45% likely to continue into 3rd year.

On this sobering note, I have to say that my already miniscule social life will have to suffer. As will my voluntary position as a Swimming coach. As will my paper round. As will my life.

I don't have to do well at uni. I want to do well at uni. And if that means I've got to chop off my leg, I'll ask which one.

(I would prefer to cut out my kidneys though.)

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

Arrrrrrrrrrgh, A Pirated Post.

You can yo your ho ho and shiver your timbers, today, is International Talk Like A Pirate day. (Before anyone says "Want any DVDs?" It's been done. Many times. It's now not funny.)

So then, how am I celebrating this glorious day, which I have off of uni (Thank you Bank Holiday...) Am I drinking a fine bottle of grog or a dusty glass of rum? Am I walking off the plank or lubbing some land?

No. I have not.

Right, in other news, I went to Fat Sam's in Dundee on Saturday night and I must say, that I did actually enjoy myself. Me. In a club. With people. And dance music...Right, in other news, I went to Fat Sam's in Dundee on Saturday night and I must say, that I did actually enjoy myself. Me. In a club. With people. And dance music...Right, in other news, I went to Fat Sam's in Dundee on Saturday night and I must say, that I did actually enjoy myself. Me. In a club. With people. And dance music...

I don't normally enjoy being trapped like a sardine in a tin. Or having random drunk people bash into me. Or spending £3.50 a drink... But, somehow, and I have my suspicions as to why, I did enjoy myself.

However, I now don't want to spend a lot of money for a while. For understandable reasons.

To round off, I'd like to say Fat Sam's wasn't as bad as some people told me it was going to be. Also, there are a lot more homeless people on Dundee's streets than Edinburgh's. Just so you all know.

Peace out bubs.

Andrew out.

Blog from a bus.

Hello everyone. I am currently moving in a vehicle travelling at roughly 40mph so excuse any errors or bloodstains on my laptop.

Yes, that is right, I bring you this blog post... FROM A BUS.

Yeah, now that the interesting bit is done, on to the boring stuff.

Hi guys, I'm back at uni again. Doing Year 2 Chembob. Hopefully I perform better this year than I did last. My timetable isn't perfect, but I wasn't expecting much anyway. Only real big news is the fact I have to get up at 5.20(ish) to get to uni on time. I think it'll make my morning attitude interesting to say the least.

This isn't a long post. Just thought I should post at some point during September. Will be back with more regularity once my life gets interesting. (That will be soon.)

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

Introduction music, French words & Outdoor Pools.

So then, s'up world.

*Cue intro music* (This can be any song you want)

Muscles, Emotions & Drugs.

It's been a while since we've had a deep, meaningful post and I'm feeling particularly fantastic today so I'm going to get all touchy-feely with you all today.

For those of you new to my blog, that was sarcasm. (The fantastic bit)

Yet Another Day In The Life Of A Raith Rovers Pieman.

There isn't going to be much Pie related news today, so don't worry.

I call this post in my head...

Yet Another Day In The Life Of A Raith Rovers Pieman: The tale of Horse-woman.

Party and whatnot.

On Thursday night, I went to a party. Yes. Social activities, I know. Shocking. This isn't going to be a story of how drunk I/you/others got. This is not going to be a story of what happened.

It's a story about gender stereotyping and modern expectations.

On my honour...

Right. No idea how this post is going to go today. Just going to type everything that I'm thinking. This is quite obviously a bad idea, but you know what? I don't care.

Let's rock.

Needless Filler Post.

Hi all. Once again, I'm here to plump up the cushions for you and allow you all to sit down and have me talk at to you.

Take a seat. It'll only cost you a few teeth.

As some of you know, I'm off uni now. Free. To do what I want to do. (Kudos if you get the reference)

So, if I'm free, how come I'm more bored than I ever was at uni? How come I feel so much more isolated than I ever did in my cell at uni? How come Kirkcaldy is so much more boring than I remember it?

Well, I don't have the answers for these questions and I doubt I ever will. Hopefully, life will get a tiny bit more exciting soon and I can blog properly about something. So, once again, I ask you, please comment with a topic of discussion for my next blog. Make it as obscure/interesting/strange or fantastical as you can and I'll do my best.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

Andrew Talks #1 : "The Rapture"

Right then, I am here to discuss one of the failed things recently...

I am of course, talking about "The Rapture."

No. That's a Velociraptor. Idiots. 

Obviously, some people in America truly believed that Jesus was coming. That everyone left on the Earth was in for a lot of suffering and torment. Well, umm, awkward much?

We're all still here. Well, I am, which is what matters. I even gave it another couple of days, just in case they missed it by a few days. Purely because I know that all end of the world situations will involve zombies. Well, they have to. Or else.

Americans were going crazy on the night of the supposed "Rapture" spending children's college funds, selling houses and generally being as hypocritical as most religious nut-jobs I know. Do the Gospels tell us that it's impossible for a rich man to get into heaven? I think you'll find the answer is yes. And selling all your stuff and buying all your worldly goods, WHICH CAN'T GO WITH YOU, makes perfect sense.

So then, God obviously doesn't want us yet. Or maybe he's decided to be merciful and postpone our execution.

Or maybe we should stop worrying about what might kill us and what WILL kill us.


Climate change (which many Americans deny responsibility for), Meteoric Impact, Melting of Polar Ice caps causing mass flooding, Alien Invasion, Terrorists getting a "dirty bomb", Nuclear warfare,  Biological warfare, Regular warfare (world war 3), Zombie apocalypse, Flipping of the Magnetic field of the Earth, Destruction of the ozone layer, Sun going supernova, Sun imploding, Sun exploding, Rogue Black hole, The exapansion of the Universe stops, Second Big Bang, Evolution of other animals, Evolution of disease, Drought, Monsoons, Tsunami, Earthquake, Hurricane, Tornado, Nuclear Meltdown, Robot apocalypse, We're all actually in "The Matrix" or Horrifically mutated hamster/ostrich hybrids eating all the cheese in the world.


All of these I will worry about more than the rapture. Well, most of them. Well, some of them. It's about time we, as the human race, took responsibility for cocking up our planet and stopped looking for any reason to stop worrying about it. "oh, the world will end in 2012 anyway..." They've said things like that before. And look where we are now.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.