The year behind...

Right, I guess it's the time of year I'm allowed to look back over the past 525 948.766 minutes of my life and discuss what I think was the defining moments of my year.

*Mad scientist voice* "LET US BEGIN!"

January.

January. I can't remember most of that month as I was involved in Irving's infamous 18th Birthday party. No, I did not shave off anyones eyebrows. Yes, I did pass out. On the stairs. And then next to someone. Geeez. Also, This is the month in which I got my reputation as a cup sucker and as the reverse joker...

February.

February was a busy month. I ended my relationship with Michelle and generally was miserable for the rest of the month. That's pretty much all I can say about this month.

March.

March. Megan's 18th. I think. Well, I remember shouting, falling, throwing up, falling asleep on stairs and singing. Actfast, That fantastic little charity event that involved me starving myself. I had fun with that. Also, that was the month I started blogging. So click here to look at my favourite post from March. (I know it's blowing my own trumpet, but I'll do this for all the following months. The posts that I felt are important.)

April.

April is when Lent ended. April is when I was reintroduced to meat. I had Sarah's 18th party. And some, umm, incriminating photo's of a certain someone. That's all I'm saying. Click here for my "blog of the month"

May.

No, not James May. The month. Idiots... 

Got girlfriend. Got dumped by girlfriend. Start of study leave and the end times of school. Went to London for a football game instead of revising. "Blog of the month" is here...

June

June was the month of many things. Last exam. Jodie's Birthday. Camping trips. My geek pilgrimage and much more besides that. I dressed in drag for the first (and not the last) time. (I shouldn't be proud of that...) And here's the "blog of the month"

July

July was the month of hiking. The month of foreign countries. The month of pain.

Main event was obviously my European Adventure. However many blog posts it took to show them all. Also, My brothers Birthday happened. But that's not too important. "Blog of the month" (and it's not a European adventure one...)

What month is after July? Anyone.

Thanks mum.

August.

Mum's Birthday. Dad's Birthday. Passed Driving Test! Started going out with someone properly for the first time in months. Wooo. Finally finished typing those pesky European Adventure blogs. "Blog of the month"

September

Started uni. Started Vlogging... (Which failed...) Did nothing else really. At all. Pretty boring if I'm honest... "Blog of the month"

October

Became single again. Celebrated my birthday with the extended family 3 weeks early. Got George. The ukelele. "Blog of the month." (It could save your life...)

November

My 18th. My guide to sarcasm was put on the blog. (and is my blog of the month.) Paintballed for the first time. Woooo! "A guide to sarcasm"

This month. December

Santa visited. Gave Andrew presents. Thats it really. My blog of the month for this month will be this one. Purely for the feedback I got from it.

I would like to thank specific people for their support this year but I highly doubt anyone has got this far. I'll do it in my next post. For all to see. At the start.

So all that leaves me to say I guess is "Happy New Year" and...

Peace out bubs.

Andrew out. 

The 7 deadly sins - Greed, Envy & Pride.

Right, it's the last of the 7 deadly sin posts and we're finishing with a bang. Three different sins. THREE. That's like going to a strip club while killing someone and raping a donkey. Yes, it is that bad.
Well, let us begin...

Greed (Avarice)

Greed (Avarice) - a very excessive or rapacious desire and pursuit of wealth, status, and power

Well, greed is related to gluttony. Slightly. With no food involved.
So, where do I fall down on this sin. Well, to be perfectly honest, everywhere. As you will see later on, these are the three sins I fall to most. Yeah, I did warn you at the start about this.
What are the three things I want more of more than anything? Hmmm, could it be "wealth, status and power" *facepalm* Apparently, because I am human and want human things, I'm going to hell. Oh. Well that's a bummer. Who are we trying to kid here? Everyone wants more. Nobody is satisfied with what they have. So, everyone is going to hell. Right? Yup.

Everyone knows that I "secretly" want to take over the world. (And it will happen. Trust me) Therefore I am wanting power. Therefore, I am sinning.
Everyone knows that I want to have lots of money. Therefore, I am sinning.
Everyone knows that I want to be recognised. That I want people to look up to me. Therefore I am sinning.

I can't win on this one. I am a very greedy hobbit and for that I apologise. Sorry.

Envy

Envy - The resentment of another because they have something you consider yourself lacking in.

Right, I suffer from envy. Every. Single. Day. 

I envy people who can be happy for no reason.

I envy people who can stay in a relationship for a significant amount of time.

I envy attractive people.

I envy people with power/money/status.

I envy people who are more talented than me. (Musically/academically/whatever)

I envy people who can afford designer clothes.

I envy people with lots of friends.

I envy a lot.

Yeah, so as you can see, I have a small problem with envy. Low self esteem combined with an all time low in self confidence means that I pretty much envy EVERYTHING. (You know when the all-caps come in, I'm serious.)

What can I do about it? Probably see a shrink. Short of that, I got nothing. So, umm, moving on.

Last, but by no means least...

Pride

Pride - is considered the original and most serious of the seven deadly sins, and the source of the others. It is identified as a desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to acknowledge the good work of others, and excessive love of self

Right, the big bad sin. Pride. Yes, a little pride is good but there are some people that are unhealthily proud. (This sin is also known as vanity but as that concentrates on looks, which I am NOT proud of, we shall ignore this)
I admit that I do have low self esteem, however, this does not mean that I feel no pride. In fact, sometimes, it means I fall harder.
Think about it, you have zero expectations about something and somehow you manage to create something wonderful. You would be proud of that. Your low self esteem would fall away and reveal pride in this one thing. Now, someone creates something even more wonderful. You refuse to recognise it. You cannot accept that someone has beat you. It hurts when people tell you that the other thing is better but still you claim that yours is better. That's how I feel about some things. I can see that I am not talented in some things but I still believe I know best.

Hmm, reading over that, that didn't make much sense...

Right, stripping it down to basics, I am not good at accepting the superiority of other people. Put like that, it's much easier to understand.

Anyway, that is all. I've done my 7 deadly sin special. Hooray! I win.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

The 7 deadly sins - Gluttony and Lust.

Oooft. It's time for another blog post. No, it is still not blog 'o' clock and it never will be. Sorry. Stop pestering me about bloody blog 'o' clock. Thank you.

Anyway, it is time to unleash the beast...

Gluttony.

Gluttony - "a misplaced desire of food or its withholding from the needy"

Well, as any of you who have seen me recently know, I have put on a little bit of weight. I have a belly that could rival Buddha at the moment and I'm not proud of it. I can think of many excuses for why I am now "rotund." I ate too much, I have an infection in my intestine, I am pregnant, I am two people in one body, I have worms, I have an alien symbiote living in my tummy. Seriously, I could go on for ever with these bad boys. So, anyway, here is the honest truth. I like to eat. I enjoy food too much. It didn't help my "emergency spending" last month to wipe my catering card, but still, I am not happy with the way that things have worked out. I shall do something about it though. Soon. (Liposuction. DIY style.)

Lust

Lust - an inordinate craving for carnal pleasure

Now, I know there are a fair few of my readers who have been eagerly awaiting this deadly sin ever since I announced doing this. Well, I say fair few...

Right, I suppose I should stop stalling and just go for it. I don't think I fall for this sin. It says "inordinate" in the definition. So what I do, is completely justifiable. Even if it does involves rubber ducks and squeezy cheese. I don't "lust" more than once a day. Well, hour. Well, every 15 minutes. Well, I don't go around constantly fiddling with myself. Well... Let's leave it there shall we.

Now, I do not like porn. Sorry to disappoint. I can't give any tips on where to find awesome breasts or merciless rape or whatever. You'll just need to find them yourself. And I'm fairly sure some of you know where to look... But anyway, I digress. Seriously, I don't like it. Drop the subject.

Seriously, as a "slightly god-fearing" teen, this is a subject I find hard to discuss. I can't really see where this fits in to my life. I do not constantly crave sex. I do not constantly monitor the net for new porn. I do not "jack off" every day. So, going by that, I think I'm doing well.

Sorry about the cop out on the lust topic. Seriously could not think of what to put.

Next time, it's the last bit. "Greed, Envy & Pride"

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

The 7 deadly sins - Sloth & Anger.

Well, for some reason, I've decided to do another multi-part post. So, I am going to cover the 7 deadly sins and how I am affected by them. Why? Do I need a reason? Good. Here we go then.

Sloth.

Sloth- "The failure to utilise one's skills, talents and/or gifts."

Well then, personally I fall into this trap all of the time. I am lazy. I admit it. I spend most of my day sitting on my a*** watching a tiny screen. I drink alcohol, I eat lots but I do little to no exercise. I prepare for exams the night before and expect to pass. I can see why this is a deadly sin. To fall into the depths of "slothdom" is to condemn yourself to a life of mediocrity. A life where you do nothing for yourself so nothing happens to you. 

Now, what I intend to do about it...

I intend to join the sports union next semester, damn the costs, and attempt to get into shape. I will eat less and I will get away from my little screen a little bit more.

Anger (Wrath)

Anger (or Wrath) - Inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger.

Well, I'd be a liar if I said I was never angry. The thing is though, usually I'm angry at myself not at other people, which is far worse than being angry at others. (Well, up to the point before murder becomes involved) This is because I am self-destructive. I can form relationships with other people and in a particularly bad case of self-loathing, destroy any friendship I had with that person. Who wants to be friends with a whiner? Exactly. I do show my anger externally too, but I bottle it up so that when it does surface, one person gets all of the backlash. All of my self-loathing, all of my pent up frustrations over girls, university, friends and money, all of the insults that have "bounced off my thick skin" and digs at my looks, my friends and my personality all come gushing out in one, massive bout of rage fuelled madness. 

Sometimes, I lash out at things. (Walls, trees, cars, beds, pillows, whatever is handy at the time.) Sometimes I just break down. I remember once I just burst into tears. For no reason. No one was talking to me at the time. Nothing had hit or hurt me. No one had insulted me recently. I just, started bawling. It was a very weird feeling. Knowing that, "as a big, strong man, I am not supposed to cry." Well, people, here's a news flash. I am not a "big, strong man." I am a very timid and sensitive man. That doesn't make me any less of a man than you assholes but it seems that way sometimes. Usually, I shout. Loudly. I shout out my frustrations. I scream all my problems. I tell people too much about the inner Andrew and immediately regret it. And then I go back to bottling things up again. And so renews the cycle...

What am I going to do about it?

Well, I don't see much that can be done. I could just immediately backlash at people who insult me, beat two s***s out of people who hurt me and scream at people who frustrate me. I don't see that helping much really.  Any suggestions or tips would be appreciated.

In the next post I will be looking at "Gluttony and Lust." You know you don't want to miss that...

Peace out bubs.

Andrew out.

Controversy Corner

Well, I do believe it is officially time for me to post up a blog. Does that make it "blog o'clock"? No, cause officially, that's someone else's thing...
Anyway, what I want to do is get my opinions on some things out in the open for all to hear. I want feedback! If you agree, say so. If you don't, I want to know why! My opinions are not set in stone. So then, here we go...

Abortion
Now, people are regularly dumped into "Pro-life" or "Pro-choice." I've been dumped in "Pro-life" because of two main reasons. 1) I'm catholic. 2) I don't agree with killing.
So therefore, I automatically qualify to be "Pro-life!" Congratulations! Welcome to the club! Handshakes for all!
Hold on there.
I am not "Pro-life." I do believe in "adoption not abortion" but if the mothers health is in danger because of a pregnancy, who am I to reduce her chances of survival? A git of a human being if you ask me.
Hey, that makes you "Pro-choice!" Congratulations! Welcome to the club! Handshakes for all!
HANG ON! Oh what's the use.
Let me put this as simply as possible. Abortions are acceptable in extreme circumstances, when the health of the mother or child is in danger. This does not mean I agree with "Pro-choice." I'm a shade of grey in-between the two. You know, where the vast majority of people are. But we aren't blowing up abortion clinics or holding up quite so many placards, so we don't get as much attention.
What do you think about abortions? Are you "Pro-choice" or "Pro-life"? Let me know!

Assisted Suicide
This is a very complicated matter... If someone is in pain every single day of their life with no hope of recovery then should we allow them to die if they wish to do so? To be honest, I don't know. I can only speak for myself when I say that I am extremely afraid of death and I would choose to cling on to life as long as I could. Why am I so afraid of death? Hmm, maybe because it's a tad too permanent for my liking. If I don't like being dead, there's no "backsies." A deals a deal. You're out and you ain't getting another go (To reincarnationists, I'll add "in the same body") and I've grown rather attatched to this suckish life of mine.
Anyway, I don't believe that you can put a blanket ban on this. This is something for more intelligent people than me to argue about.
Comments on this? Do you have any ideas?


Wikileaks...
Well, you all saw this one coming. At the moment, this is the controversial issue. I think that what wikileaks is the right thing to do. However, I do appreciate that some things need to be kept secret. Such as? Military stuff. I'd rather not have every country in the world know exactly where all of my weapons are kept. I'd rather keep that kind of thing quiet. However, what a diplomat (however idiotic) has said about a prince's shoes/sex life/racist habits should be known. Stopping it is against the right to free speech and I think that free speech is what stops us from being like North Korea...
What do you think state security or freedom of speech? Opinions?


Nuclear power.
Yes. I do agree with nuclear power. Something that can provide that much power while producing very little pollution agents has to be used. I do not believe this is the only solution. Other alternatives must be used as well. A nuclear plant in every county just gives me the heeby-jeebies... Sure they are safe. I still don't want one next door...
What do you think? Let me know.


Mutually-Assured-Destruction.
(This is what will happen if a country gets a nuclear erection and decides to launch the nukes...)
Any situation which will result in the deaths of most of the worlds species is bad in my books. However, with more and more countries gaining access to nuclear weapons, I am starting to worry. Countries have them as "deterants" but in order for it to "deter" then you need them to believe that you will launch that missile. For some reason, I don't think big democratic countries will want that kind of responsibility over their heads. But what if a communist country who hate every country in the world got hold of some... Then we're all going to hell in a paper boat people. In that situation, I suggest finding the ones you love and saying goodbye. We might not have the balls to strike first, but we will strike back. No escape for any.
Do you believe this could happen? Comments?


Right then, thats enough for now. Remember, I want people to react to this. I want people to tell me what they think. Comment below, message me, comment on the link on facebook, tweet me, whatever. Let me know what you think.


Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

A rant...

I apologise in advance to any "non-supporters" amongst my audience. However, even if you do not like/watch/enjoy football, this should give you ammo if you want to continue hating. Bear with me here.

My name is Andrew Steven McArdle. I am 18 years old and I am a Kilmarnock supporter. There, it is said. It cannot be unsaid. Now that I have given you that confession, onto ranting.

Being a Kilmarnock supporter, I have been brought up with a spirit of "perserverance" when it comes to football. I support a team which is not likely to win any cups. A team that is more likely to be in the bottom 6 than the top 6 and a team that was tipped for relegation this season. This gives me a perspective on things in the SPL. I see referees trying their best and getting hounded for "favouritism." I see fans baying for blood when a decision goes against them. I see fans fighting each other, chanting inappropriate songs, claiming heritage from a country other than their birth place and attempting to be "radical for their cause." Ok, I will admit, there aren't too many of them, outside of the Old Firm... Ok then, Celtic Football Club and your supporters. Why are you so annoyed at the fact that a referee made a mistake and then tried to cover it up? Yes, he should have admitted he made a mistake but that is no excuse to tar everyone with the same brush. You and your club seem to have single handedly driven our referees to striking. "Bah, who needs 'em" I hear you say... Umm, we do. So we can play football with the rules enforced. Face it, ref's are human and humans make mistakes. Deal with it. You say that you are unfairly picked on? YOU BLOODY WELL ARE NOT! You have money to buy players. You have the majority of decisions in matches. You have the majority of the support in Scotland. What do we smaller teams have? We live in fear of our club going bankrupt mid-season. We live in fear of getting beat in that vital game and being relegated. Not because of shame. But because of the financial implications that will bring. Now, what if in that one vital game, the decision went against you? You would protest. You would shout. You would scream yourself hoarse at the fact that you have been robbed unfairly from survival. Yes Celtic, you are chasing the title. The rest of us on the other hand are clinging onto survival. Just. Stop your whining about referees being unfair or biased. Of course they are. If they support Celtic, they'll be biased for Celtic and against Rangers. If they support Rangers they'll be biased for Rangers and against Celtic. If they support anyone else, they'll be biased for no-one. Apart from the team playing the bunch of whiners... Sending death threats to a referee is not a good move for you or your club. One, the police are getting very good at this forensics thing. So they can tell who sent it. Two, they will know who you support and how to hurt you. By handing it to the SFA, UEFA or even FIFA and saying "right, this is what that clubs is encouraging..." What do you think will happen if that happens? Probably very little. One day though, they might decide to make an example of a team. And what if they pick yours... Oh dear. Goodbye...

On another note, threaten referees to quit, and they will. They have other jobs. They do the refereeing because they want to. Not because they have to. So, you tell our most "experienced" ref's to quit, the places will be filled with less "experienced" ones. Until, eventually, we have none. No ref's = no football.

Money matters now in football people. The aim of the game is not to play football. It is to get money for the club. Whether by winning, playing 11 players behind the ball or hoping for a good cup run, all that matters is getting those little £'s into the club account. So, explain to me, in this time of economic crisis, that it is deemed necessary to pay £90,000 a WEEK to Wayne "Shrek-face" Rooney? For someone who there is every chance of not performing well every week. If I was paid that kind of money, I think I would have to be perfect every, single, second of the day. However, he doesn't score for a game, is that a wise investment? He doesn't score for two games? Struggling... What if, god forbid, he gets injured. That's £90,000 a week for a player who isn't doing his job... Umm, I think that maybe there's something wrong with that picture...
I don't see how someone is paid that much to "entertain" people. I don't see why he should get that much money a week when someone performing a vital service might be lucky to get that in 6 months. Ambulance Driver? Firefighter? Bomb disposal expert? Airport security? Referees?

Anyway, I apologise to my "non-football" fans out there. Here's a few pictures to compensate...

Sometimes, even I can see football sucks...

(This is my 90th post... So my next 9 posts I intend making special. Somehow. More on that next time...)

Peace out bubs. 

Andrew out.

Verbal Diarrhea

As some of you may have noticed, I have not posted for a while. So here is a "get-you-by" post until I can think of something EPic to write about...

So without further ado...

1. Paintball.
My parent's asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I asked for paintball. They delivered. Me and a select group were taken to go paintballing. All things considered, it went well. I didn't die, I shot people. All is good.

2. Special Thank You!
This is a special thank you to a Ms Jeni Southcott. Thank you for the poster and picture to put on my wall. It has actually begun the process of changing my room from "jail-cell" to "room." Thank you also to anyone who gave me a wrapped up present. All of the wrapping paper is now stuck to my wall. Along with half a sheet of bubble wrap for stress relief.

3. Illness.
One of the main reasons for my lack of postage is that I have been choked with the cold since Wednesday last week. I'm finally beginning to recover (and therefore regaining some ability to think) so I should be back to top form next week.

4. Heriot-Watt university.
Despite it's best efforts, I am remaining sane. Just. I'm still not feeling like this place is somewhere fantastic but I am coping fine. As long as my room remains mine and they don't shut down yet more of the Unions stuff, I'll manage.

5. Love's not a competition...
But I'm winning.

6. I've started on Tumblr... Not as a blog. More of a dump site for things which I don't think merit a place here. Visit AndrewsMindDump if you feel like it. At the moment, I'm trying a "post something every day" kind of thing. Well, most days. But eventually I'll begin posting other stuff like photos and stuff. I repeat, this is still my main blog.

7. I've run out of ideas...

8. Peace out bubs.
9. Andrew out.

No if's. No buts.

Right then, unless you've been living under a rock today, then you probably know about the student protest in London. And can you guess the only thing people are talking about? Millbank.

Right then. So, some students have decided that the best way of convincing the government to do what we want them to do is by throwing stuff around, burning shit and causing lots of damage to a government headquarters. Riiiiiiight... Personally, I can see why people are protesting, I am a student myself and the education cuts are atrocious, what I don't understand is this idea that some people have that breaking stuff will cause a government to think again. Temper tantrums stopped working when we were 5 years old guys. Sorry to burst your bubble.

Also, I have a sneaky suspicion that perhaps the ring leaders of "the angry mob" may not have even been students... Don't know why. I just have a hunch about it.
Either that or the ring leaders were students. And in this case, they obviously lack the intelligence to be in university or college. OF COURSE BREAKING STUFF WILL GET ALL THE ATTENTION IN THE NEWS! News shows only show the "interesting" stuff. And right now, that "interesting" stuff is the fact that a load of students through a hissy fit in central London and not the fact that over 50,000 students turned up. Now that the vast majority of news stories tonight will be talking about "the terrible damage caused" or "the senseless vandalism", students, as a whole, will become hated. We will lose a lot of support from non-students as they will see us as "louts, thugs and vandals."

 Yes, it's a protest, but there are better ways of getting your point across. Admittedly, telling Nick Clegg that he's a wanker doesn't seem to be working at the moment, but still! All you have managed to by making a mess is to take all of the good things about the protest, and blow them all up. Oh, and that's another thing you destroyed. Public opinion.

Anyway, I might not agree with the method of the violent protesters but I  agree with their message to the government. Most students will not be able to afford £9,000 a year. I wouldn't. Even if we only have to pay it back when we earn over a certain amount. I kinda do want to think about a house. And a car.You know, the things you Tories take for granted...
We might be a declining age group (the baby-boomers are hitting retirement) but we are essential for the growth and stability of this country. We need our degrees Mr Cameron and his lapdog Clegg. So we can get to where you are and screw over a new bunch of students.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

Sarcasm. Andrew style.

Well, first of all, thank you to any and all who wished me a happy birthday. I really appreciate the attention for that one day of the year. Anyway, now onto serious business, this is...


A guide to sarcasm. Andrew style.


Well, lately, whenever I am back in Kirkcaldy, I cannot help but overhear young people saying "You're so sarcastic ________" I am here as your knight in shining armour to guide you in the do's and don't's of sarcasm. But first...


What is sarcasm?


According to some very clever people who write the Oxford dictionary, Sarcasm is "the use of irony to mock or convey contempt." So then, explain how "You're a douchebag" is sarcastic. It isn't. [send to small person on the number 13 bus of Kirkcaldy.]
According to Wikipedia, sarcasm is "a sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark; a bitter jibe or taunt" However, they say that some believe it needs irony and others believe it doesn't. I don't believe being sarcastic needs irony but it can help. For example, if someone asked me if I was hurt after I fell down two flights of stairs, me saying "Well naw!" does not contain irony, but it is sarcastic. It's not very imaginative though. So, same example, I fall down two flights of stairs and someone asks if I'm hurt. I could say, "No, I enjoy feeling like my kidneys have burst." That is much better sarcasm because it seems like more effort has gone into it's creation and because it contains a hint of irony. Of course I don't enjoy feeling like my kidneys have burst, therefore this is sarcasm.


If you are going to try sarcasm...


The main rule of being good at sarcasm is for it to come naturally. Sorry any of you who wanted to learn how to be sarcastic. You either got it or you don't. However, I will put some stock sarcasm at the end of the page to help you out. (That was sarcasm...)
Yeah, anyway, if you have a small skill at sarcasm, then well done! Welcome to the club. I'm sure you'll have a lovely time here. (Sarcasm again...)
Some people are more sarcastic than others. Take my good self for example. I have been described as being "highly sarcastic with a dry sense of humour" So I would put myself at a class 2 on the classic and time honoured scale of sarcasm. Here is that scale...

The time honoured scale of sarcasm

Thought of in 2010 by Andrew McArdle. Copyrighted. (c)

Class 5- No sarcasm at all. You could get more sarcasm from a dead mole.
Class 4- Minor sarcasm. Expect plenty of "Well naw" and eye rolling.
Class 3- Major sarcasm. Can put together basic sarcastic sentences. Not very good at targeting at particular people/topics.
Class 2- Extreme sarcasm. Puts sarcastic sentences together naturally and can unleash them upon an unsuspecting victim at any time. Highly dangerous. Avoid if possible.
Class 1- Over-the-top sarcasm. This is where sarcasm degenerates into nasty insults and shouting. Some sarcasm but can be easily annoyed if you manage to retaliate with a sarcastic comment. Lethal if provoked. Avoid at all costs.


(Just in case you were wondering, that was not sarcasm. That was all honest and hard earned truth...)




The Do's of sarcasm...


Be funny. There's no point in sarcasm if you use a language no one understands, or pitching it too intelligent or crude for nearby people.
Be appropriate. Obviously, there are times when sarcasm is not appropriate. At all. Examples include police interrogation rooms, funerals and whenever "Strictly Come Dancing" is on. 
Believe in your sarcasm. If you don't feel like you're being sarcastic, then you aren't. Get in the zone. And do whatever it is you do there...


The Don't's of sarcasm...

Don't insult. You aren't here just to insult people. You are here to lightly mock someone. Just to tell them to back off insulting you or you can get sarcastic on their behinds.

Don't pick on one person. (Unless they really deserve it.) Being picked on by constant sarcasm has driven certain people to suicide. I can't name names until the stupid court decides that I'm not guilty of manslaughter unfortunately. Anyway, don't pick on people. 

Don't tangle with someone you know is more sarcastic than you. It gets messy. Real messy.

Anyway, if you follow the rules and you actually have talent, you'll be sarcastic in no time...

Peace out bubs.

Andrew out.

The last day of 17ness...

It's the 5th people. It's the 5th of November. Tomorrow, I turn 18 and shall assume my rightful position as ruler of the world. (It's a very secret job)

Anyway, I don't think being 18 will change all that much about my life. I can already drive. I already drink. I already (don't) smoke. So, what interesting things happen when you turn 18? I can go to clubs? I don't do dance music... I can go to pubs? I already get served at the Union. So, what changes? If I'm honest, nothing. Nothing will change. I will still be a loser. The only difference is I can buy alcohol. But essentially, I'll still be the same pathetic loser you all come to read about. So, don't you go worrying about me. I'll be fine.

Anyway, I feel a rant coming along. I want to rant about some of the stuff I have seen happening at the Uni...

1. In lectures, please do not spend the whole time chatting about "some burd yay did las' nicht." Especially when I'm in the row in front of you. Thank you.
2. On buses. Please do not roll your joint in plain sight of me. It's especially stupid when you are sitting in plain sight of a security camera as well you complete tool.
3. When you're going up the main stairs. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT stop in the middle of the stairs to chat/gawk at teh boobies/wank/have a small party. Seriously, I have a lecture hall to get to. And I don't need an excuse to be late. Cause I'll take it. Every single time.
4. Please do not get drunk. Ok, I'll rephrase that. Please do not get drunk and spend half the night shouting outside my window. Seriously, GTFO. Cause my body clock is shot as it is.
5. In lectures, please do not kick my chair. Cause every time you do, I feel like turning round, leaping over the tables and kicking your ar** right out of the lecture theatre. Or failing that, killing you. That's how strongly I feel about that.
6. In lectures, I have a register for my Chemistry lectures. This effectively forces me to go to lectures. I feel that if someone doesn't want to go to the lectures, then fine. They can fail the course. That's their problem. Don't scare us into going to lectures. We should go because we want good grades. And occasionally miss a lecture for a hangover.

Anyway, I have a test in about 8 hours. So I should probably be sleeping/revising/masturbating.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

And so it begins...

Happy November everyone! This is my favourite month of the year. This is not only because it's my birthday on the 6th... There are other reasons...

Thanksgiving. That traditional holiday where we all gather as families and eat turkey and Pecan pie. And cranberry sauce. Lots of cranberry sauce. What? It's an American holiday? Oh well...

I like fireworks, therefore, I like Bonfire night. Though nowadays, if someone tried to blow up parliament, we wouldn't be celebrating every year. So, on the 5th of November, I hope you all remember that you are celebrating not only a terrorist. But a failure of a terrorist. Think about that next time you light a firework.

My birthday. The 6th of November. This I like for obvious reasons. I like the fact that I get presents. This is made all the sweeter because of the timing of the rest of my families birthdays. They all have midsummer birthdays. While I am late autumn. This means that I get Birthday and Christmas in one lump. They get presents spread out throughout the year, making the summer holidays even better for them. Not that I'm bitter or anything... *shifty eyes*

This year, my birthday has an even greater meaning. I am of course talking about the elections in America. (God bless America people...) Anyway, as I'll be 18 on the day of election, I can vote. Yay! However, as I am not an American citizen, things get tricky... I'll need a stick on moustache, some mexican clothes and an English-Spanish dictionary to pull this one off guys.

November 14th. Remembrance day. The day when we remember those who gave their lives so that I might be able to live as a free man. I'll be wearing my poppy when the day comes even though I am going paint balling on that day. I hope you all will wear a poppy too.

November 30th. St Andrews day. It's "Scotland day!" I know that everyone pretty much feels that our patron saint should be Rabbie Burns but honest, it is St Andrew. So, I think we should do something Scottish on that day. I'll stick something up at some point about what I intend on doing for "Scotland day" but if you have any suggestions like colours that could be worn, badges or activities, feel free to let me know.

And finally, the fact that it is Autumn. I love autumn. Trees go nice browns and reds. Leaves are nice and crunchy on the ground and it's conker season. Summers too warm. Winters too cold. Springs too wet and boring. That leaves autumn. The greatest season of all. I'm sure you all won't agree.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

George "the awesome"

Good Afternoon/Evening/Morning/End-of-the-world-party (delete as appropriate) my faithful.

I'm almost, pause for dramatic effect, 18.

However, as I said earlier. My family had my 18th party two weeks early. Where I got my new, trusty and loyal partner George. Here is George.

I HAS UKELELE!

Anyway, yes, I got my ukelele and proceeded to name it. It is George and me and George will have adventures together. Keep reading to see them...

Well, it's pretty easy to begin with. I am expecting it to get harder though. << innuendo much?

Apparently, I'm naturally flirty. I don't see it personally but everyone else know me so much better than I do. So, we'll go with that then. I am flirty and I'm proud! If you think I have ever flirted with you let me know. And I'll let you know if it's deliberate or not. 

RED is a good film. Watch it. I give it **** out of *****.

Peace out bubs.

Andrew out.

A little bit of everything.

You may have noticed the purple. That's for the people who feel that they have to kill themselves because of who they are or who they like. Who you like doesn't matter. Whether you are gay, straight or somewhere inbetween. If both of you feel the same way, you should be happy. If there is no one, then I know it's pretty terrible, but things will get better (eventually).

Anyway, that's my bit for world peace and a bit of tolerance in the world. Just letting you all know.

---------------------------------------------------------

Today was a big day for me. I went to see Simon Pegg. He signed my book. =3

He commented on my green chequered shirt. "Whoa, that's a lot of green." and "I could play against you at chess on that. Actually, we could have a tournament."

Probably the best thing that's happened to me recently.

---------------------------------------------------------

Long forgotten friends of Andrew.

Hear me now.

If you want to meet up. Message me.

Done.

---------------------------------------------------------

My birthday is soon. My 18th birthday. WOOPAH! Presents are not negotiable. Get them. NOW!

(6th of November people. Remember it.)

---------------------------------------------------------

This weekend, the McArdle clan will be assembling to celebrate my 18th (two weeks early) I'm expecting lots of pasta. Lots of.

---------------------------------------------------------

That'll do for now I think.
A more organised post next time hopefully.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

Hidden post #2

This is a post I've had under wraps for a while though. I've considered it "Hidden post #2" for a long time. I finally feel like I can post it. So here goes. This was written just after I got back from Europe this summer.


Ok, seriously, get out. Every single time something in my life goes right, something goes and messes it up again. Do I not deserve a little bit of luck? Do I not deserve to be happy? Do I deserve pain, misery and messed up memories and dreams all of my life? Cause at the moment, that's all I'm getting. Pain. Misery. Messed up dreams.

I'm fed up of this all. I finally begin to fit in at school, then I leave. I finally start to gain my confidence, and people tear it from me. I finally begin to dream again and now everything that messes up every waking minute of my life messes up my sleeping as well. I haven't slept properly since Saturday. I wake up in the middle of the night, staring at the ceiling, thinking "What did I do?" As far as I can tell, I haven't done anything. I haven't done anything that deserves such constant and determined punishment from the world. All I want is to be happy. I want to be happy and to enjoy being me. I want to not be used mercilessly by people who shouldn't use me. I want to be in a stable relationship that won't involve me getting hurt, cheated on (again) or dead inside. It's taken a lot to get me "feeling" again. And now that I can. I don't like it.

Bring back the nothingness, the oblivion of feeling no pain, guilt, heartbreak or love. At least with that I could sleep for a whole night without waking up either in tears or with a feeling of dread. Every time, I go in too far, I get too close, and no one will ever realise it. I didn't even realise it until recently. I can't help myself. And every time it ends in me getting more and more hurt.

Well, this is present me again. I didn't post this at the time because I didn't think people would read it. I was cleaning up old posts, I found it and I realised that this is MY blog. Posting these things makes me feel better. It's like getting closure on a topic. If you must know, I haven't been sleeping well for a long time and I'm hoping this post will start my recovery again.


Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

The news.

I need glasses peeps.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

Tomorrow shapes my future...

Well, as much as I'd like my post to live up to such an awesome and inspirational title, it isn't. I am not going to discover a cure for aids. Or stop war for ever. Or discover alien life. No, tomorrow, I get my eyes tested.

This is something that has scared me since I was 8. I knew roughly about genetics/inheritance and knew that there was a fair chance I would lose my eyesight partly at some point in my life. Well, I feel it happening. I can see it happening. My long distance vision is slowly blurring. It's not terrible but it's enough to make me notice it, especially during lectures.

So anyway, one of my biggest fears may be realised tomorrow. Hearing that I will need glasses, contact lenses or laser surgery. I don't particularly want glasses... Not because I have anything against glasses or people who wear them, but because I don't suit glasses. At all.

Therefore, if the worst comes to the worst, contacts are getting bought. I'm guessing it'll take a while to get used to them, but once I have, it should become second nature to take them out and put them in. Hmm, I guess this means I could change my eye colour...

That's really all I have for you at the moment. I'll give you a brief update during the weekend about my eyes.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

A post of many topics.

Well then, hello and welcome back to my pit of self depression and pity. I thought I'd try writing this blog the way I did back when I started and see what happens.
Onwards and upwards then...


Today was my first as a real student.


After spending up until closing time in the student union bar drinking with Chrimbo and Irving, I stayed up until 2/3 in the morning doing god only knows what. Now that's stereotypical student. Yeah. I feel proud. 
I then slept until past midday for the first time in my whole life. (Normally I'm up by 10 at the latest) Now that's stereotypical student. Yeah. I feel proud.
I then knocked back as many paracetamol as I could (legally and safely...) and nursed a headache for an hour and a half. Now that's stereotypical student. Yeah. I feel proud.




I asked for your help. And you answered. More than I expected. So, to reward your loyalty, here is a post on all of the comments (at time of writing...) So here is my posts on your comments.


-God/Satan/Reincarnation/Jehovah's Witnesses.-


After having a massive philosophical debate with Zoe earlier. I have a new found belief in something. I'm still attempting to work out what. But the important thing is that I believe right? 
Satan. Well, "I talk to god as much as I talk to Satan cause I want to hear both sides..." <3 the Biff... Anyway, I know very little on this topic. Satan is meant to be the epitome of Evil. He is to be despised and cursed and never trusted. So technically, Satan is Hitler. Yeah, I went there. Me and Chris have a long standing joke of me slipping Hitler into my English essays. So here it is. Also, I like how spell check is telling me Satan is spelt with a capital but god is not. Hmm, obviously Bill Gates has connections...
Reincarnation- If I have to go through all this s**t again, I'll not be happy...
Jehovah's witnesses. If any of them somehow manage to get through the locked door to get to my door, then 
a) I'm assuming they are demons.
 b) I will act accordingly. 
  c) I will get arrested for my following actions.


Barbie. 
Barbie is America's insidious way of corrupting our female (and occasionally male) youths (and occasionally older individuals...) into buying plastic dolls which have unrealistic features and giving them an incorrect view of beauty. Most plastic surgeons are only in business because of Barbie. D**n you Barbie. Cindy would never do that to us.


Annoying things people do...
Oh dear god. Here goes...
Eating loudly, saying they're ugly when they obviously aren't, saying they're ugly when you don't think so, "cutsie-pie" wall to walls, public snogging, people who throw up on the toilet seat and leave it there, dumping Andrew by text... Shagging your best mate, kicking Andrew with high heels, not commenting on my blog, not understanding my complex relationship structures, mocking me for what I do, waiting for you to walk up to a door holding it open then closing it in your face, shouting at Andrew for things he hasn't done. People who are drunk on trains, people who are dedicated to the IRA or whatever it is and who have no tenable links to Ireland. Supporting Celtic or Rangers, dancing naked in public, using blackberries...


This video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUlw4NT08Ds&feature=related

Well, communism lives... 

It is an epic song though...

BNP-

So, by BNP I'm going to assume you mean the Bangladesh National Party. They are the mainstream center-right political party in Bangladesh. It is currently the largest opposition party in the Jatiyo Sangshad, the Parliament of Bangladesh. They could be compared to the Conservatives. (Wikipedia.)


Being Independent. 
Well, Independence sucks. You have to do everything yourself and the pay is terrible. You want my advice? Live with your mum as long as you can. She knows how to iron. And you don't. So make use of that talent. 


The guy code...
It does not exist. Do not search for it. Especially if you have breasts. Us guys are selfish jerks because we want to be not because of a "code" *shifty eyes*


Why the zombie apocalypse will never happen?
Because Chuck Norris watches over us...


The prominence of Penguins in J-pop.
http://thedragoeffect.wordpress.com/2007/08/25/penguins-seek-world-domination-fla-vor-ice/ 
That should explain all you need to know about penguins and why we should wipe them off the face of the planet.


Why MGT rocks? 
It doesn't. Deal with it Ruari.


Peace out bubs. 
Andrew out.

A little bit more off topic than normal...

Right then guys, I want to use today to talk to you about the impending end of the world situation. Some people think the economy will bring us down. Wrong. Some think that Nuclear Armageddon is the problem. Wrong. Some people even think a conflict between Heaven & Hell will take place with Humanity as it's "No-man's Land". Also wrong.

I am, of course, talking about the impending zombie apocalypse.

Now, before you all go, "Useless drivel" *close window*, hear me out a bit. The thing about living is that it's a thing you don't realise how precious it is until you are going to lose it. If you knew that you were going to die on 21st of December 2012, you would immediately down tools and do something you felt was worth while. (Whether that be hedonistic orgies or mindless destruction is down to you guys really) So, I'm not saying there will be a zombie apocalypse. I am saying, just in case, lets prepare and make sure we protect what is ours, and ours alone. Life.


So, I have this book called "The Zombie Survival Guide" - by Max Brooks. It is a useful start on how to survive an all out attack on humanity by basic, groaning zombies. What do I mean by basic? Well, that would be your standard shambling flesh eater. The kind that groans "Brains..." and tries to bash your head in to get at that coveted prize. Well, as I said, it's a start. Do not rely solely on this book! It has many gaps in it and refers to firearms a lot. If you intend surviving, I'd recommend it as a starting point.


So, this is my input on the matter.

Welcome to Advanced Zombie Tactics...

These are my simple steps to preserving life.

1. Be unseen.

Ok, lets keep this simple. If a zombie hasn't noticed you. Move away quickly but quietly. If it does notice you run, jog or even "Power walk" away (depending on zombie speed) If it catches you then...

2. Knock 'em down.

As many of you know, killing a zombie involves destroying the brain. However, saying you'll do it and actually doing it are two completely different things. The human head (and therefore zombie head) is, in comparison to the rest of the body, tiny. There is no way in hell of you getting a good enough hit to break through the skull (power) and actually hit the head (accuracy) Remember, if you miss, you're wide open to infection and that is number 1 on the list of things to avoid. In fact, here is a list of things to avoid...

• Infection (Zombie virus or STI's or equivalent)
• Zombies (Especially of “Family members”)
• Illness (Of any type)
• Dead Bodies
• Panicked (Uninfected) Humans
• Wild Animals
• Infected (But not zombified) Humans.

3. Lie low. 

Don't go out around a city looking for stuff to loot or for treasure or for "Zombie hunting." Until you have sufficiently mastered surviving, do NOT go looking for trouble and even when you have, don't. Life's a bitch, but it's what stops us being one of them...

4. Only go out for essentials. 

Medicine, food, clean water etc are on this list. NOT X-boxes, Films, Desperate women etc.

5. Help others (but not too much)

Now, as you saw, Panicked (Uninfected) survivors were on the list of things to avoid. Now, I will admit don't go looking for trouble, but when someone's life is in danger, help them. We are all still human. Do not show anyone who you do not trust your base of operations. Do not give any indication on the amount of supplies you have at all. Do not indicate a leader.

6. Stay sane.

The biggest problem with zombies is the Psychological effect of being constantly hunted. Eventually senses dull, you get tired and then BAM you're zombie chow. Sleep in safe locations and leave someone on watch. Do not take off your shoes unless immediate security is assured and even then, not for long. You need to be ready to run at a moments notice. Keep yourself entertained.

Hopefully, this will increase your chances of surviving the impending zombie apocalypse and I won't be the only one left...

However, if you want to be a zombie, this might interest you... LINK

Services will resume as normal next post. (So more crazy stuff and rants then...) 

Peace out bubs.

Andrew out.

My "Diary" and why I hate Facebook at the moment.

Well, I'd like to thank the two people who single handedly kept me sane today. Erin and Tamara. While Heriot-Watt University was abandoned by the vast majority of students here, I would have been alone and insane if they had not visited. So thank you.

Anyway, while they were visiting "da ghetto" two things were pointed out.
1. My room is tiny. (I knew this)
2. A little black book which Erin said "It's Andrew's Diary!"

Well Erin, it isn't. It's what I call my "private blog." It contains sensitive material. Which would destroy the minds and souls of any who read it without first living through the events described.
Well, it's not really, it's where I write some material I'm not sure about posting at the time. So I keep it there. Safe. Until I need it.

I will however show you the first page...

See, front cover. Take that. Anyway, yes, at some point I may show people it, but at the moment I'm not ready to show any of it. Just clearing the air on that topic.

In other news... Under my clothes I am naked. Enough said really.

To finish with, I would like to share with you something which I consider one of my "pet hates" at the moment. Facebook updates (& groups) based on TV show quotes or contestants.

"Why?" I hear you cry...

1. I really, REALLY, do not care about X-factor. Or The In-betweeners. So I really do not want to know what has happened in these shows. Seriously, just stop it. If you like the show so much, watch the show and then go on Facebook afterwards. You do know computers aren't everything right? (says the guy who must rely on his laptop for everything...)

2. Right, as I am impartial on this matter, I would like to discuss Gamu. Let me get this straight. If it's like any other show I've watched, YOU vote for who you want to keep on right? So, who voted for Gamu? Not you? SO STOP COMPLAINING THAT SHE WAS VOTED OFF! 

----If this is not the case, then if you hate Ms Cole so much for voting off Gamu, stop watching and spare me the status updates...----

3. Groups which are purely for a quote from a show are just not funny. Things are funny in CONTEXT. Not on their own. Just reading a stupid line containing three or four swear words IS NOT funny. At all. It's like reading the punchline of a really complicated joke. "Thats my school bag" isn't funny by itself. However with the full joke, it is. (If you want the full joke, you can comment...) Anyway, I do not need to know one line from a show which I do not like. Thank you.

4. These "petition" groups will not make any difference at all. She's gone. Accept it. Also, stop inviting me to join your petition. I don't care.

5. These "quote" groups will start spamming soon. So you'll soon have a group urging you to "DO THIS SURVEY TO GIVE US YOUR PERSONAL DETAILS SO WE CAN SCAM YOU SILLY!" Sound familiar? It will soon. Also, do not invite me to these groups. I do not even wish to waste the energy checking my invites for such useless rubbish and then deleting them.

Hmm, I seem to have ranted quite a bit there... Back to business as normal then.

Peace out bubs.

Andrew out.

My progress so far...

Well hello y'all. Isn't technology wonderful? Yes it is you bunch of hippies. Just go with it...

Anyway, I found a certain screen which is linked to my blog but I previously had no knowledge of. It's called "stats." Guess what I can find on said page? Yes, thats right. Stalker information... Kidding, kidding *shifty eyes*

Anyway, it basically tells me information about my blog. I now finally know my total site view count from when I started. The number as I write this blog is... One thousand one hundred and five.

*Jaw drops*

Umm, you must be sh****g me...

Over one thousand views? The hell? Whats going on here? It's scary to think that my page has been viewed over 1000 times. It makes me think that people actually care. *sniff* And yes, I did check that my page views aren't included. They aren't. So there.

So, after discovering this amazing piece of news I found another link on the page. Called "Audience." So basically, I know where people are viewing my blog from. And how many views are from each country. (I only know general locations, like countries, so you are not going to be stalked...) Obviously, me being from Britain, my vast majority of readers are Brittish. So good on you chaps. But I feel the need to welcome readers who are from other parts of the globe.

"Howdy" to my American viewers.
"Hullo" to my Canadian viewers.
"Olá" to my Brazilian viewers.
"안녕하세요" to my South Korean viewers.

These are my main views from other countries.
Other countries include the Netherlands, Germany/Bavaria, Singapore, Russia & Italy.
So anyway, heres the deal. I would like to know if you are reading this from a country that isn't my own. It's nice to think there are people around the world looking into my life. So please, leave a comment, saying hi (in your own language) and I'll get in touch with you.

What else can I find...

My most popular posts are this, this, and this.

46% of my readers use Internet explorer, 21% use Chrome and 17% use Firefox.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that I really appreciate you "rabble" reading the ramblings of a simple Scottish boys adventures in life. Hopefully I can continue to provide a service which people will enjoy. Hopefully, my blog will spread even further into more and more countries. Hopefully it will spread into so many countries that I will effectively control the world... What, too soon?

My video blog will be continuing soon. Just hang on in there.
Also, I will smile in future videos. For the first few videos  I needed complete concentration to work this infernal contraption, therefore, I frown. Sorry bout that. I'm getting the hang of it though.


So that's my progress in the world domination front. I think it's coming along quite nicely. Spread the word people...

And that word is legs...

( Remember to make Andrew happy by clicking like or dislike at the top! =] And make him ecstatic by leaving a comment. =D )

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

5 things I like about me...

Well then, I promised you all this. So I'm going to do it. For those of you who are concerned with me at the moment due to changes in my life. Don't be. I'm ok. So don't sweat it. I'm more concerned with stuff none of you know and I don't want to talk about at the moment. But it's no biggie. So don't worry.

5 things I like about me...


1. My outlook on life...


I consider myself as a "pessimistic optimist." While some people would view the glass "half empty" and some view it as "half full" I have a different look to it. I think it isn't how full the glass is that matters. It's what's in it. And how enjoyable I would find drinking it. Personally, if the glass was half filled with water that doesn't fill me with optimism (unless I was dying of thirst...) and if it was half empty of Irn-Bru I would be thrilled. I could finish the Irn-Bru and enjoy it while it lasted. It's quite a bit to get your head round I know. It took me years to work this out. Put simply, I don't worry about things if I can help it. I enjoy things while I can.

2. My perfectionistism... (yes that is a word.)


I believe that if a jobs worth doing, it's worth over doing. If I enjoy something, I will put my heart and soul into it. I like blogging. That's why it takes me a while to write one. I want to think about how other people would perceive this. I want to make sure I haven't made any major spelling or grammatical errors. I take pride in what I want to do. However, the flip side of this is that anything I don't enjoy (or don't want to do) will be a half-ars** effort from me. I just don't have enough energy to be a proper perfectionist.

3. Loyalties...


As quite a few people have told me, I have a somewhat weird sense of loyalty. If I believe someone is my friend, even if they aren't, I would help them when I could. If I know someone is my friend, I would go out of my way to defend them. And as for those people that mean the world to me, I'd do anything to keep them safe. In the past, this has got me into trouble (defending my brother, fighting people who insult my friends etc) but I believe it's worth it. Even though I rarely get thanked for it, I'd do it anyway.
If I give a promise to someone, I keep it. (which is why I rarely give "unending promises" they can get complicated)
My loyalty also applies to things that I use. I am "a creature of habit." I will always try and use the same computer. I'm pretty sure unless something major happens, I'll stay on Blogger. Purely because it does what I ask it to. And I'm used to it.

4. My averageness...


Well, when I look at myself, sure I think "You could be better Andrew," but I don't consider myself "ugly." I think I am firmly stuck in the "Not a great looker, but he's all right" place in life. It's a nice place to be. It means I can blend in to the background if I want but I can also "show off" if I feel the need. (that's not very often though, I need to give other guys a chance...)
I also used to be considered a geek at High School. (King of the Chess Team FTW!) but here, I am considered normal. I am not a jock. I am not an emo. I am not a skater. I am not a geek. I am normal and as such I can be who I want.

5. Quick thinking...


When a problem rears its ugly head in my life, I deal with it by thinking quickly and acting when I can. For some reason, I don't seem to panic. At all. It's almost as if I skip that step. When the need arises I act. For example, once on a holiday,
  I was on Homps "- the devil boat." It was "the devil boat" because it seemed to resist doing what we told it at all times... Anyway, we were going under a low bridge, when suddenly we heard an "OUCH" and a splash. Once I was on the deck, I saw my dad in the river after he had decided to headbutt a bridge. So, while my family panicked, I went to pick up the rope he had been tying up and pulled him in.
So, as you can see fast reactions are handy.
However, there are some times when I think too much and then it's annoying. But I get through. I just need to learn to disengage the noggin occasionally and just act.

Anyway, I believe that is all I need to do to satisfy the title. 5 things I like about me. It feels weird talking about yourself positively, but I think everyone should try it. It makes things just seem a little better. And trust me, I know.

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.

5 things I hate about me...

Well, I have recently been suffering from what I call "plumbers nightmare." No, not diarrhoea. No, nothing to do with my "plumbing" but simple writers block.

I have been thinking about doing this topic for a while now and due to my lack of ideas it is coming out in all of it's full glory. So, here it is. 5 things I hate about me.

1. My sense of humour...

"Andrew, you have a very 'dry' sense of humour." - Ms Richardson (3rd year English)

This comment was given to me after a reflective essay. It was the first of many times I was told how I should be able to improve my writing. (It is also the only time I ever paid attention in English) This is the only reason I got my Int 2 A (and probably what stuck me in my Higher C)

 Deadpan is a form of comic delivery in which humour is presented without a change in emotion or body language, usually speaking in a casual, monotone, solemn, blunt or matter-of-fact voice and expressing an unflappably calm, archly insincere or artificially grave demeanor. This delivery is also called dry wit when the intent, but not the presentation, is humorous, oblique, sarcastic, or the effect is apparently unintentional. - Wikipedia (Deadpan/Dry Humour) 

This is how I have styled my writing ever since. It is how I have styled myself and my jokes in life. It has worked remarkably well... Until now.
Now that I am at Uni, my "Deadpan humour" isn't the most popular style. It's quite far down actually. Now that we have so many people around, you have to be "loud and proud." And this brings me to my next point...

2. Shyness...


I, blogger of feelings, maker of video blogs, ex-guitarist in a band, ex-always-first-to-volunteer-for-school-shows, am incredibly shy. I struggle to form relationships with anyone. I struggle to make conversation with new people.
I think this has something to do with how I was brought up... All through my childhood, I felt like a bit of an outsider for some irrational reason. This "irrational" fear that I am somehow, a freak, has been deeply ingrained into my mind and I can't shake the feeling about it.

3. My nose...


Genetics has gifted me with an incredibly long face, a large brain (not as handy as you might think) and an incredibly large nose... It's very handy for the other members of my family (who all wear glasses) but not so for me (who doesn't) I do know that this is may be bordering on "Oculist" (prejudiced against glasses) but I do not want glasses. Ever. I look enough like my brother as it is without needing to put glasses on my face as well. Unfortunately, also due to genetics, I am almost 100% guaranteed to need glasses. I think all of my direct relatives need glasses and I am slowly losing my long distance vision. Not good. 


4. My ability to take some things too seriously...


Sometimes, I can take things way too seriously. For example, a friend makes a joke about me and I don't talk to them for a week. This drains some of my much needed "friend-power" (I need as much as I can get...) and I can't stop myself. Sometimes, I wish I could laugh about this kind of thing at the time. I can laugh afterwards perfectly fine, but it's too late by then if I'm honest.

5. My addictive personality...


I have an addictive personality. Period. It doesn't take a lot to get me hooked on something. Facebook - 1 day. Bejewled Blitz - 30 seconds. Alcohol - Born that way.
This is why I have never smoked a cigarette. I fear for my finances, health and social life. I'm pretty sure I would be hooked very quickly. And it's not something I find attractive, cool or hygienic in other people, so it would tear me apart if I was addicted as I fought myself draw after draw.

That has been 5 things I hate about me. However, I have three final messages to put on this bad boy post of a blog...

1. Happy Birthday Olga... The cake's on her.
2. Happy 69th post all... The cake's on me.
3. A friendly Competition.


Complete the following sentence. (and post it in the comments on this or on my link on faceboogle...)


"The thing I like about myself is..."


I will be posting the 5 things I like about me in my next post, so I would like to know the best, the best, the best of yoooo... *foo fighters <3*


 Please use the "like and dislike" buttons at the top of each post. I do actually care what you all think. 

Peace out bubs.
Andrew out.